Tag: Utah

Life, News

Recent BYU Couple Already Engaged Within Timeline of Election Results

The slow pace of this year’s election count is fueling a lot of criticism, as millions of Americans wait to find out who will become the next president of the United States. Unlike certain other neighboring states that move at the pace of an orangutan with ankle weights, Utah provided a swift conclusion to their election results. And just as swiftly, yet another Utah couple … Continue reading Recent BYU Couple Already Engaged Within Timeline of Election Results

Sue Sylvester
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News, Sports

“Give Me 20 More!” Yells Ryan Smith as Jazz Players Furiously Fill Out Surveys

After buying the Utah Jazz for $1.6 billion earlier this week, Qualtrics co-founder Ryan Smith finally showed up to his first practice as owner. The billionaire tech CEO reportedly stepped on the court with an entirely new set of drills in hand. “You want this team to have any chance of a successful IPO, you sit down and listen to me!” shouted a frazzle-haired Smith … Continue reading “Give Me 20 More!” Yells Ryan Smith as Jazz Players Furiously Fill Out Surveys

Warren Dusenberry
News

Gov. Herbert Declares Early Halloween in Effort to Encourage Mask Wearing

Utah Governor Gary Herbert has declared that Utah will be in a state of permanent Halloween between now (19th) and when conventional Halloween begins on the 31st. This comes in the wake of a series of changes made to the state’s Coronavirus response program. “We know that essential oils moms love Halloween and have no problem with everyone wearing uncomfortable costumes and masks for that, … Continue reading Gov. Herbert Declares Early Halloween in Effort to Encourage Mask Wearing

Donald Cherry
News

Utah Testing Apologizes for Miscalculation in ‘Positive’ COVID-19 Test Results

The Utah Department of Health has issued a statement detailing the incorrect number of positive COVID-19 cases reported, followed with an apology and explanation for the extreme error. The average case count per day from last week was reported as 447, a noticeable decrease from the previous weeks. Unfortunately, last week’s average case count was corrected in the Utah Department of Health’s report as an … Continue reading Utah Testing Apologizes for Miscalculation in ‘Positive’ COVID-19 Test Results

Gail Black
News

Kanye Releases Presidential Platform Based Entirely on the LDS Children’s Songbook

When famous rapper, singer, and songwriter Kanye West announced that he would be running for president earlier this week, few people took him seriously. Just this morning, however, West doubled-down on his presidential aspirations, releasing a detailed platform of ideas. Critics are already pointing out that the 70-page manifesto is based entirely on the text and melodies of the Children’s Songbook of the Church of … Continue reading Kanye Releases Presidential Platform Based Entirely on the LDS Children’s Songbook

Warren Dusenberry