Tag: Student Housing

Campus, Featured, News

BREAKING: Helaman Halls Literacy Rates Reach Record High of 25%

In the spirit of Reading Day, a handful of Helaman Halls residents have finally overcome their bibliophobia and learned to read and write. “I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them, Sam-I-am,” said Reed A. Booke, the 25th percent, unprompted. The fact remains that the majority of Helaman residents will not be participating in the campus-wide holiday. “That’s what the … Continue reading BREAKING: Helaman Halls Literacy Rates Reach Record High of 25%

Don Cheadle1 Comment
Life

Provo Voices: How Students Are Getting Through Homeless Week

Provo residents once more find themselves at a disadvantaged position as another homeless week has come upon us. The annual early Christmas present to landlords descends like a pall over this quaint and demure town. As part of homeless week, many apartment complexes force out their tenants for a week, careless to the potential upheaval and suffering this decision could cause the fair residents of … Continue reading Provo Voices: How Students Are Getting Through Homeless Week

Paul Hollywood
Featured

General Stabbed on the Ides of March as Helaman-Heritage War Drags On

As Heritage and Helaman Halls continue to take up arms against each other for some reason that nobody actually remembers, Army of Helaman General Audrey Thibaughlt has displayed extreme prowess as a strategist. But no hero is without flaw. Her ambition had become apparent to her officers, and they seized the opportunity to put an end to it. Thibaughlt was stabbed ten times–once for each … Continue reading General Stabbed on the Ides of March as Helaman-Heritage War Drags On

Don Cheadle
Campus, Featured

War!

Chaos! Mayhem! Utter pandemonium! What began as the most ambitious crossover event of all time has escalated into total war as Heritage and Helaman Halls march into battle over the forbidden romance of Lake Monson and Nova McCapuleight. Our journalists braved both sides of the battlefield to bring you the latest news regarding the disarray covering the northern portion of campus. “Mobilize Merrill and Stover … Continue reading War!

Don Cheadle
Campus, Featured

Campus-Crossed Lovers: Helaman Resident Falls for Heritage Resident

Two halls, both alike in indignity, opposite in all aspects save each one’s distaste for the other–on the grounds of northern BYU campus we lay our scene: an unsuspecting freshman of Helaman Halls fallen hopelessly in love with a recent RM now living at Heritage Halls. The unlikely pair met at the recent Starry Night Soiree held at the Heritage Central Building. Helaman native Nova … Continue reading Campus-Crossed Lovers: Helaman Resident Falls for Heritage Resident

Don Cheadle