Tag: Sports

Featured, Sports

Joe Burrow loses Super Bowl after not paying tithing

After losing the important game of his career, Burrow only can blame one person: himself. The Bengals lost a close, hard-fought game this Sunday. On the sidelines, word got out that Joe Burrow had not paid his tithing that month. The Alternate Universe received an exclusive interview with Burrow because we’re just cool like that. “I can only blame myself at this point,” Joe Burrow … Continue reading Joe Burrow loses Super Bowl after not paying tithing

Bobby Zimmeruski
Featured, Sports

Ministering Rates Mysteriously Increase on Super Bowl Sunday

As Super Bowl Sunday is upon us once again, we can finally enjoy the culmination of years training from athletes who are, and will always be, better than you. But on this year’s Super Bowl Sunday, you can look forward to a visit from people who are not, and will never be, better than you: your ministers. The Church has noticed a strange trend in … Continue reading Ministering Rates Mysteriously Increase on Super Bowl Sunday

Bobby Zimmeruski
Sports

Report: BYU rejected bid for Hruska’s Kolaches Bowl before choosing to play in prestigious Independence Bowl

Our BYU Cougar football team represented our school well this year. With impressive showings against every team not located in Boise, BYU finished the season with a very exceptional resume. As one of the top teams in College Football, BYU was in contention for a prestigious bowl game. But even after asserting their dominance over five PAC-12 teams this season, BYU was not offered a … Continue reading Report: BYU rejected bid for Hruska’s Kolaches Bowl before choosing to play in prestigious Independence Bowl

Bobby Zimmeruski
Featured, Sports

Jake Paul Will Fight “Hunk Smith”, Hank Smith’s WWE Alter-Ego in Next Boxing Match

Fresh off his victory over retired UFC fighter Ben Askren, Jake Paul has decided to challenge the biggest name in LDS Twitter to a boxing match. The internet’s poster-boy for bad life decisions has actually acquired quite the resume in his young boxing career. With victories over fighters half his height and retired wrestlers, some are starting to take him seriously.  Hank Smith has recently … Continue reading Jake Paul Will Fight “Hunk Smith”, Hank Smith’s WWE Alter-Ego in Next Boxing Match

Bobby Zimmeruski
Sports

March Madness Games will be Played at Local Church Buildings, Officiated by Local “Church Ball” Referees

According to recent reports, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints will be hosting some March Madness games this weekend.    Since the entirety of March Madness this year will be held in the Indianapolis area, there was a limited number of available venues to play in. Just like the Provo Rec Center, there was an extreme imbalance of players with NBA dreams compared … Continue reading March Madness Games will be Played at Local Church Buildings, Officiated by Local “Church Ball” Referees

Bobby Zimmeruski