BYU students in the College of Music have rejoiced over the new music building. The horrors of having to play in the decrepit HFAC are now behind them, and the music building will no longer be shared with the art students. It would seem to an outsider that all departmental political strife would have ceased, but for BYU students, this is unfortunately not the case. … Continue reading Confusion Arises Regarding Newly Named KWMB
It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Get ready to judge your smug hipster friends for bragging how they’re in the Top 0.001% of Bon Iver. We get it, MaKayKayleigh, you’re so special. Our excellent investigative reporting has revealed the Spotify Wrapped of the one and only Kevin Worthen! So without further a due, here is his 2022 Spotify Wrapped! Top 5 Artists #5 … Continue reading Here is Kevin Worthen’s Spotify Wrapped 2022
If you’re single and looking for a smoking hot babe on campus, you might have to up your Zoom flirting skills instead. Kevin Worthen, BYU’s President and Papa, recently announced that BYU will be transitioning back to full-time online in response to the rising gas prices. According to Worthen, there will be no in-person classes until it is “financially” safe to return to campus. “We … Continue reading BYU Reverts Back to Online Classes to Fight Rising Gas Prices
As students rushed to submit their final exams and projects by midnight last night, President Kevin J. Worthen saddled up for his bi-annual hunt of the duck pond’s prized mallard. Sources close to BYU’s 13th president confirm that this tradition has helped Kevin unwind from the pressures of work for many years. “During finals week, Dad’s eyes start to glaze over a bit.” explains his … Continue reading President Worthen Celebrates End of Semester with Hunt of the Prized Duck-Pond Mallard
Following the news that President Donald Trump was hospitalized with COVID-19 last week, national media attention quickly fell upon BYU President Kevin J. Worthen. According to our most recent reports, President Worthen has not been hospitalized with COVID-19 and is doing “pretty well all things considered”. Speculation has arisen that Worthen has taken social distancing and mask wearing seriously, leading to a continued lack of COVID-19 … Continue reading Checking in With Kevin: President Worthen Still Not Hospitalized With COVID-19, “Doing Pretty Well”
