As temperatures rise, so do sightings of the American FSY Kid (Youthus latterdayensis). Within the last week, Provo has been dubbed a Red Zone for critical FSY kid encounters. Here at the Alternate Universe, we take public safety very seriously, and would invite you to review the following tips for coming face to face with this breed of creature. Stand Your Ground An FSY … Continue reading 5 Tips For Encountering FSY Kids
Hold off on posting that hot new selfie: it’s time to get humble. BYU, inspired by recent Church leadership directives to cultivate and foster a spirit of meekness, lowliness, and modesty, has decided to announce June as Humility Month. Honor Code Office representative Mark Magleby is excited for the change and explained the roadmap for Humility Month: “This is a really exciting time for BYU, … Continue reading BYU Announces June As Humility Month
A jury of his peers found former BYU President Kevin Worthen to be guilty as charged–for having too much fun. Since last year, Worthen has been working at Yale University as the Michael Doyle and Bunny Winter Distinguished Visiting Professor of Law. However, his colleagues have not been enthused by his presence. K-dubs has been partying every weekend since arriving in New Haven, Connecticut. Sources … Continue reading Kevin Worthen Found Guilty–Of Having Too Much Fun!
Two breeds of bug boy, one following a 13-year sales cycle and the other a 17-year sales cycle, are emerging together to create the largest swarm since 1803. The bug boys are emerging predominantly in Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Illinois, Kentucky, Maryland, Mississippi, Missouri, North Carolina, Oklahoma, South Carolina, Tennessee and Virginia. We asked famed entomologist B.E. Tell about this phenomenon. “It’s really fascinating that the … Continue reading Trillions of Periodical Bug Boys Emerging in Eastern US This Summer
In their two years of marriage, Natalee and Braeden Miller have never once had sex without opening and closing with prayer. “We usually sing a rest hymn too,” Natalee explains. “Our favorites are Love At Home and Come, Come, Ye Saints. Our bishop actually recommended it!” “I absolutely did not recommend that,” says an appalled Bishop Lawson. “I don’t know where they got the idea … Continue reading Provo Couple Opens Sex With Invocation, Closes With Benediction
