Move over, Cosmo! There’s a new mascot in town! Chuck E. Cheese just bought the BYU duck bond for $5.8 million. In an effort to “revitalize” BYU’s campus, the company plans to build artificial islands with a miniature city complete with a full-sized Chuck E. Cheese’s building. BYU’s Board of Trustees eagerly approved the BYU duck pond remodel because there is nothing more that they … Continue reading Chuck E. Cheese Buys BYU Duck Pond
Last week, rock musician Neil Young removed his solo collection of music from Spotify. This was in response to COVID-19 misinformation being spread by The Joe Rogan Experience, a podcast owned by Spotify. Several other artists have since followed his example but this Alternate Universe correspondent had never heard of any of them and had too much homework to allow time to find out. So … Continue reading Tabernacle Choir Removes Music From Spotify
Minion memes are finally getting the respect they deserve. Steven Carroll was casually scrolling through Facebook one day, as all typical 23-year-old single white males do, when he stumbled upon his mom’s Facebook post. Little did he know, his life would be changed forever. “When I saw it, I almost went into cardiac arrest” Steven Carroll recounted. “You can ask my roommates, they legit thought … Continue reading Student Cured of Clinical Depression After Seeing Funny Minion Meme on Facebook
The fourth week of school brings midterms, a sense of routine, and some unexpected surprises. One of these came Monday morning when one professor decided to shake up his classroom by telling his students that they could call him by his first name, Peter. The Alternate Universe conducted a series of interviews to gauge their reactions. One sophomore student described her distress, “I don’t think … Continue reading Students Unsure What to Call Professor
I want you to close your eyes and think to yourself right now: What is the worst part about BYU? Come on, do it. I don’t see those eyes closed. There we go, nice job. You can open your eyes. What did you say was the worst part about BYU? Did you say the people? American Heritage? Economics with Professor Kearl? Not being able to … Continue reading BYU Police employs military-grade solutions for jaywalkers and grass-walking students
