Here at The Alternate Universe, we receive all kinds of messages–ransom notes, declarations of love and adoration, world domination plans, you name it. As of late, we have received a particular influx of paranormal reports. Specifically, we are receiving accounts of cryptid sightings on BYU campus. As your primary source of the latest news, we are morally and legally obligated to provide you with the … Continue reading Campus Cryptids You Should Know About
In a controversial announcement, BYU has announced that the long-awaited replacement for the Harris Fine Arts Center was designed by a generative AI model, a first in the field of architecture. “The new Aarts Billdng represents our campus’s greatest step forward in architecture since the JKB,” a BYU spokesman said. In front of the building, a statue of former BYU President Franklin S. Harris beckons … Continue reading BYU Announces New Arts Building is Designed by AI
Citing the latest buzz in the news over the many reported cases of aircraft collisions and crashes, Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf has decided to end his retirement from aviation and go on a publicity tour to restore the global confidence in air travel once more. The German aviator, Apostle, and freelance model has long been an outspoken advocate for airplanes and air travel, frequently using … Continue reading Elder Uchtdorf Comes Out of Retirement Amidst Air Incidents
Are you part of the 3% student population looking to move to Provo this spring and summer? Lucky for you, there are lots of available housing options. Save a desperate student a lot of internal stress and money by purchasing one of these contracts! Shane Reese’s Office MALE private bedroom selling for spring/summer Rent: $677 in Cougarcash + utilities -AMAZING WARD: has all the … Continue reading FOR SALE: Provo Spring/Summer Contracts
In the season of unexpected snowstorms and uninvited professions of love come the nemesis of every college student: midterms. According to reliable sources, one local student has declared that she is “completely screwed” for all her upcoming exams. “I just don’t know what to do,” freshman Carolyne Carter lamented. “I thought the semester started a few days ago, and now I’ve got tests and projects … Continue reading Student Beginning to Realize Just How Screwed She is for Midterms
