Where Are Some of BYU’s Most Famous Athletes Now?

When people think of BYU, they often think of academic excellence, soberness, religion, and just a sprinkle of polygamy. Due to the recent success of many athletes who have come out of BYU, our religious institution is slowly becoming known as an athletic powerhouse. Who else produces the sheer amount of skinny white guys who can run for long distances like us, huh? As a … Continue reading Where Are Some of BYU’s Most Famous Athletes Now?

Confusion Arises Regarding Newly Named KWMB

BYU students in the College of Music have rejoiced over the new music building. The horrors of having to play in the decrepit HFAC are now behind them, and the music building will no longer be shared with the art students. It would seem to an outsider that all departmental political strife would have ceased, but for BYU students, this is unfortunately not the case.  … Continue reading Confusion Arises Regarding Newly Named KWMB

President Nelson Forgets Great-Great-Great-Great-Grandson’s Name During Baby Blessing

On Monday, President Nelson’s twelfth great-great-great-great-grandchild was born. Problem is, he already has 758 direct living descendants, and that is a lot of names to keep track of. Somehow, there are no repeat names because of creativity giving rise to such great works of art that include the names McBambreigh, Jeanupher, Truxtersen, M3gan, Breauxleigh, and many more.  Eddeligne “Eddee” Munson, the mother of the baby, … Continue reading President Nelson Forgets Great-Great-Great-Great-Grandson’s Name During Baby Blessing

BYU Students Enthusiastically Protest the Catholic Church In Honor of “Martin Luther Day”

As the United States of America comes together to fight racism and push for progress in the country, BYU students have mistakenly gone a different direction on Martin Luther King Jr. Day. Students line the streets of Provo and walkways of BYU, raising their fists in support of the legacy of Martin Luther, the 14th-century theologian famous for his 95 Theses against the Catholic church. “I … Continue reading BYU Students Enthusiastically Protest the Catholic Church In Honor of “Martin Luther Day”

Leaked Documents Finally Reveal LDS Apostles’ Full Names

For years, members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints have wondered at the Apostles’ unexplained use of initials. What is D. Todd Christofferson trying to hide? What doesn’t Gerrit W. Gong want us to know? Does Russell M. Nelson not want us to know something? Finally, the truth has come out. Classified documents have been leaked to the Alternate Universe revealing the … Continue reading Leaked Documents Finally Reveal LDS Apostles’ Full Names