Tag: Featured

Campus, Featured, Life, News, Provo

Newly Discovered Joseph Smith Prophecy Accurately Predicts Entire MCU

In Doctrine and Covenants section 87, Joseph Smith accurately predicted the coming Civil War, 30 years before it began. This was not enough to convince his doubters of his prophetic calling. Well, let’s see them try to explain this. While demolishing the HFAC, construction worker Tim Devon discovered a box underneath a granite slab. In the box was discovered a 50 page prophecy, accurately and … Continue reading Newly Discovered Joseph Smith Prophecy Accurately Predicts Entire MCU

Macho Man Randy Savage
Life, News

Angel Moroni Shot Down After Being Mistaken for Spy Balloon

“And he shall send his angels with a great sound of a trumpet, and they shall gather together his elect from the four winds, from one end of heaven to the other.” When Apostle Matthew wrote these words, did he consider the military ramifications this great reckoning would bring? Unlikely, yet here we are. Two days ago, General Dusty Kilgore of the United States Air … Continue reading Angel Moroni Shot Down After Being Mistaken for Spy Balloon

Macho Man Randy Savage
Featured, Life, News

Amidst Inflation Crisis, Finger of the Lord Turns Stones to Eggs

It’s no secret that America is facing a heartbreaking egg shortage right now. Stores are buckling under the pressure of trying to sell eggs they don’t have. Roommates grapple with contention as eggs are stolen from their prized cartons. Vegetarians waste away, unable to consume their singular source of protein. Anguished by these events, a faithful son of God by the name of The Brother … Continue reading Amidst Inflation Crisis, Finger of the Lord Turns Stones to Eggs

Kayteigh Leigh
Featured, News, Provo, Uncategorized

Single FHE Mom Wins Heated Custody Battle

After two whole semesters of no child support from their deadbeat dad, single FHE mom Tiffaneigh Leigh of Provo YSA 12345th ward took legal action and was granted full custody of her 15 adult children. While Tiffaneigh herself would report that the court ruling was sweet, anyone who was involved in this case can attest that the litigation was sour. “Having to get up on … Continue reading Single FHE Mom Wins Heated Custody Battle

Lisa Simpson
Campus

WILK Chick-Fil-A Kiosk Wins Student Employee of the Year

America is a beautiful place. In this country, you can order shower curtains with your dog’s face on them. People are inserting microchips into their brains. The government is watching us at all times as we willingly teach social media apps how to manipulate us. Some say that technological advancements have done too far. But I would guarantee that these people have never ordered homophobic … Continue reading WILK Chick-Fil-A Kiosk Wins Student Employee of the Year

Bobby Zimmeruski