Against all supposed odds, the worst person you have ever met just got engaged to the love of their life. There really is someone for everyone—except maybe someone single, pleasant, and normal like you. In an exclusive interview with The Worst Person You Know, The Alternate Universe was able to get an idea of their future plans. “My insufferable fiance and I are excited to … Continue reading Breaking: Worst Person You Know Just Got Engaged
Far from the beacon of safety it was once known as, Provo, Utah has recently been ranked #4 in the nation for gang violence. Taking a moment to familiarize yourself with these groups may help you to protect yourself and your family. Tunnel Singers This gang’s stronghold is located under the tunnel in front of the Marriot Center. They are most hostile when shaded in … Continue reading 5 Gangs to Watch out for in Provo
In this ever-changing world, members often look for stricter guidelines on how to live their life. This conference, the Quorum of the Twelve and the First Presidency delivered. Here are five new sins to avoid in your Christ-centered life. Excessively large jewelry – Earrings must have a diameter below 2 inches and a total surface area below 5 square inches. Necklaces must have a chain … Continue reading New Sins Announced in General Conference
Hey all you freshman with misplaced horniness, listen up. It’s about time we had the talk. When two people like each other very much – they decide to date each other. Inside of just kissing each other at the Duck Pond late at night and ignoring each other throughout the day, two mature people eventually like each other enough to put labels on their relationship. … Continue reading Church Announces New Second-Hour Option for Boyfriends Who Go To Their Girlfriend’s Ward
Weather experts and politicians have been warning Utahns about the nearly 200% snowpack this year. Emergency preparation has already begun for the soon-to-come street floods. However, it turns out that water isn’t the only thing coming out of the melting snow. Thanks to one brave hiker on the Y Mountain, we now know of the location of the Golden Plates. Barry McBussentyre claims he was … Continue reading Golden Plates Found In Melting Utah Snowpack
