It’s been a while since we’ve seen Josh Hutcherson on the big screen. Though it’s too early to say, his role as McKay Smith in this weekend’s box office winner Five Nights at Cosmo’s could be his most lucrative move since Bridge to Terabithia. The film has already accrued over triple its budget of 25 million Cougar Cash in just one night. In the soon-to-be horror … Continue reading ‘Five Nights At Cosmo’s’ Sells Out Opening Night
Contrary to popular belief, there is such thing as taking the Halloween Spirit too far. Attendants and employees of Fear Factory, Utah’s top haunted house destination, were confused and even scared this past Wednesday, when a BYU Student named Zack Conway reportedly tried to take advantage of the “Touching Allowed” ticket. Conway, a returned missionary majoring in Computer Science, was finally kicked out of the … Continue reading Lonely Student Buys “Touching Allowed” Haunted House Ticket Just to Feel Something
Nobody knew that cougars could have six packs, and nobody wanted to know. Over the weekend, #CosmoCanceled became the number one trending hashtag on social media platforms due to the BYU mascot’s recent homecoming performance. The cougar surprised all present when, without (official) authorization by BYU, he tore his shirt off and began to perform a traditional Hawaiian fire dance. Observers were unwillingly exposed to … Continue reading Cosmo Cougar Facing Backlash After Nude Homecoming Scandal
Ladies, have you noticed the men in your life staring off into space after reading in Mosiah? How often does your boyfriend/fiancé/second cousin think about Captain Moroni, Alma the Younger, and King Benjamin? Has he ever said something like “Teancum was such a boss” or “Man, I wish Helaman was still around” or “I wrote in Pahoran for city council?” If so, you may be … Continue reading Provo Men Thinking About Zarahemla Again
The resurrected Samuel the Lamanite returned to the top of a wall for the first time in over 2000 years. He began his address saying that he was commanded to say many things that may be hard to hear: “I do not want to tell you this things, but it is my duty. So as the kids say, ‘sorry not sorry.’ ” From prophecies to … Continue reading Samuel the Lamanite Appears on Border Wall
