Tag: Featured

Campus, Featured, News, Uncategorized

‘Tall Club’ President Revealed to be 3 Freshmen In Trench Coat

BYU’s newest extracurricular organization ‘Tall Club’ is currently experiencing a power vacuum after the exposure of the club’s president as only 3 freshman in a trench coat. The main eyewitness was taking a bathroom break during a meeting when he got a surprise he wasn’t prepared for. “The top one was trying to use the urinal and basically the whole disguise fell apart,” reported 6’4″ … Continue reading ‘Tall Club’ President Revealed to be 3 Freshmen In Trench Coat

Lisa Simpson
Campus, Life

Top Finals Week Tips for Freshmen

Attention, freshmen! As finals week approaches, you may find yourself regretting your choice of educational institution. At this point in the semester, 89% of first year students say they want to transfer to UVU. The remaining 11% say they would like to leave civilization and start a homestead. But don’t despair, this article contains a foolproof methodology that will ensure your finals go smoothly and … Continue reading Top Finals Week Tips for Freshmen

Anya Forger
Campus, News

American Heritage TA Drunk With Power

As finals approach, TAs all over campus are being flooded with requests from their students begging for extra credit and help. It’s gone to American Heritage TA Mahonri Dahl’s head. “I am all powerful,” cackled Dahl as he put a crown of Scantrons onto his head. “These freshmen shall bow before me and know the might of a teaching assistant!” “Is this another rule of … Continue reading American Heritage TA Drunk With Power

Paul Atreides
Life

Top 5 Hottest Book of Mormon Villains

With their rippling pecs and flattering words, Book of Mormon villains are some of the hottest around. But which one takes the prize for The Zaddy of Zarahemla? Read on to find out! 5. King Noah Who doesn’t love a hard partying player with a bad-boy vibe? His deep pockets and glamorous friends don’t hurt, either. King Noah now does summer sales to maintain his … Continue reading Top 5 Hottest Book of Mormon Villains

Anya Forger
Featured, Uncategorized

50 Ways to Smite the World This Christmas Season

50 WAYS TO SHUT OUT LIGHT Move someone’s bookmark to a different page. Burn down your local food bank. Scowl at someone. Leave a passive aggressive note for your mail carrier. Laugh at a friend. Leave a bad review for a local business. Abuse someone’s generosity. Scam an old person. Ask a woman if she’s pregnant. Tell a loved one their vibes are off. Sleep … Continue reading 50 Ways to Smite the World This Christmas Season

Lisa Simpson