Sell Outs? Church Sells Provo Temple Land to Developers—Cool Sculpting Clinic Coming 2025

Perhaps even the blessings of the temple can be bought out.  Earlier this month, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints finalized the sale of land that was formerly home to the historic Provo Temple. The buyers belong to a cool sculpting franchise by the name of UglyFattyBodyByeBye Inc., who paid over $300 million for the land. “We just really love the location. The … Continue reading Sell Outs? Church Sells Provo Temple Land to Developers—Cool Sculpting Clinic Coming 2025

Breaking: Least Charismatic Person in Your Ward Called as Sunday School Teacher

Provo residents report an increasing struggle to stay for the 2nd hour block of church. In light of this decreasing attendance, Provo 2846th ward knew they had to step up and make a change. That’s why they called Derrick, the least charismatic person within ward boundaries, as sole Sunday school teacher. “He was the perfect fit. His voice drones on like a dying air conditioning … Continue reading Breaking: Least Charismatic Person in Your Ward Called as Sunday School Teacher

BYU Preps For Oncoming EFY Storm

In just a few short weeks, BYU will be infested…not with insects or rodents, but with something far worse–EFY Teenagers.  BYU officials are aware of the monumental task that lies before them and have vowed to properly fortify BYU’s campus to face the onslaught, even creating a new task force called the Student Humanitarian Aid Response Team. We asked top BYU officials what their plan … Continue reading BYU Preps For Oncoming EFY Storm

BYU Student Solves Racism With Simple Equation

Well folks, the wait is finally over! Give your friend of color a high-five and maybe a kiss on the mouth because racism is officially done for. For years, expert sociologists have been trying to find a solution to discrimination, but some white boy just figured it out for a bit of Monday afternoon fun! The moment math and ethics prodigy Paxton Bright found the … Continue reading BYU Student Solves Racism With Simple Equation