Tag: COVID-19
Worthens to Deliver Cookies to Every BYU Student Around the Country
Seeking to cheer up the BYU student body, Kevin and Peggy Worthen are spending the rest of their summer on a quest to deliver cookies to every BYU student in the country. According to sources, the Worthens recently acquired a Winnebago and over 3,000 pounds of chocolate chips. “We can’t fix everything for all these kids, but we think it would be nice to check … Continue reading Worthens to Deliver Cookies to Every BYU Student Around the Country
Water Polo Team Sad Not to Be Deemed ‘Essential Sports Team’ by BYU
While many major BYU sports teams are returning to campus to resume training, the university’s water polo team is still being barred from preparing for their upcoming season. Unable to meet the requirements to be deemed an “essential sports team” by administrators, water polo team members have become severely depressed. “Our dedicated fans are absolutely crushed right now. And I’m not just talking about MY … Continue reading Water Polo Team Sad Not to Be Deemed ‘Essential Sports Team’ by BYU
LDS Church Suspends Word of Wisdom Requirement For Remainder of 2020
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints released a statement that declared the suspension of Word of Wisdom for the remainder of 2020 early Wednesday morning. The Word of Wisdom is a health code that requires members of the Church to abstain from alcohol, coffee, tea, and drugs. “It’s been a tough year for so many reasons. We just think the Saints should take … Continue reading LDS Church Suspends Word of Wisdom Requirement For Remainder of 2020
Governor Herbert Polls Citizens on What They Would Prefer to Die from This Year
A mass mailing campaign initiated by the office of Governor Herbert reportedly landed a special poll in each and every Utah citizen’s mailbox this morning. The poll asks respondents “What is your preferred manner of death in 2020?” and then lists many possible options including COVID-19, an earthquake, killer hornets, and Danites. A special disclaimer at the bottom explains that although the State of Utah … Continue reading Governor Herbert Polls Citizens on What They Would Prefer to Die from This Year