Shining Bearded President Worthen Announces Animal Sacrifice to Replace Honor Code

BYU President Kevin Worthen, having spent his holiday break exclusively in solitude atop Y-mountain returned this Tuesday to the rowdy crowds awaiting his traditional first devotional to open the new semester. Many are still in shock at his dramatic announcement that animal sacrifice as described in the Old Testament will be taking the place of BYU’s current honor code. The devotional itself got off to … Continue reading Shining Bearded President Worthen Announces Animal Sacrifice to Replace Honor Code

Six Potential Democratic Nominees Come Out of Utah

With the position of Democratic nominee suddenly wide open, everyone agrees that Provo has some of the country’s best candidates for the job. Six Utah natives have announced their candidacy and their running mates, and it’s your job to determine who will step up. Peggy Worthen and Kevin Worthen Future president Peggy Worthen and passenger princess Kevin Worthen are back in the presidential game with … Continue reading Six Potential Democratic Nominees Come Out of Utah

C. Shane Reese Quotes Kendrick Lamar to First-Gen Graduates

Friday evening, BYU President C. Shane Reese quoted Kendrick Lamar at a dinner for first generation graduates. “To quote one of the greatest lyricists of all time, Kendrick Lamar, ‘Be humble,’” said Reese. Reese, himself a first-generation college graduate, then used Lamar’s “HUMBLE.” to illustrate the principle of humility. This is within the range of normal behavior for the university president. Reese is famously engaged … Continue reading C. Shane Reese Quotes Kendrick Lamar to First-Gen Graduates

Cosmo Gets Baptized

Cosmo Cougar officially joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints this weekend. Some readers may be surprised to find out that Cosmo was not already a member, but Cosmo had never indicated either way. If not previously a member, how did Cosmo Cougar become the mascot for the Church-owned school? Cosmo has a brother, Carlo, who joined the Church and attended BYU. Cosmo … Continue reading Cosmo Gets Baptized

After Days Adrift Over Helaman Halls, Honor Code Office Spy Balloon Has Been Deflated

President Kevin Worthen was briefed on the balloon on Monday morning. He was leaning toward taking down the balloon, the Daily Universe reported, but according to U.S. Pentagon officials, the risk to civilians on the Helaman Halls grounds was too high. President Worthen was cautioned against the move to shoot the balloon and instead was advised to continue to monitor the situation. “Just a training … Continue reading After Days Adrift Over Helaman Halls, Honor Code Office Spy Balloon Has Been Deflated