President Worthen plans to cook, knit, and more after being released as Area Authority

Last week, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints announced the release of 66 area seventies, one of which happened to be BYU’s own fearless leader President Kevin “The Rock” Worthen. As Kevin’s call to the clergy comes to a close, he finds himself with one too many doors open. What time he used to spend in the work of the Lord, he’s now … Continue reading President Worthen plans to cook, knit, and more after being released as Area Authority

President Kevin J. Worthen Unfollows The Alternate Universe After Activism Effort

The Alternate Universe, Provo’s finest news publication, is well known for its high quality content and reliable coverage of current events. With nearly 4,000 Instagram followers, the Alternate Universe has far surpassed the popularity of BYU’s “official” news source, the Daily Universe. However, truth is not always popular, and standing up for those being discriminated against is often even less so. Yesterday, the Alternate Universe … Continue reading President Kevin J. Worthen Unfollows The Alternate Universe After Activism Effort

Provo High to be Turned Into Kevin Worthen’s Personal Paintball Arena

Since BYU purchased Provo High in 2016, rumors have surrounded it. Many thought it would be turned into a medical school and others thought it might be used for conversion therapy. Today it was announced that the school will be turned into a paintball arena for Kevin Worthen and his friends. The arena will consist of the entire school building and a couple of outdoor … Continue reading Provo High to be Turned Into Kevin Worthen’s Personal Paintball Arena

Local RM Uses Skywriting to Propose to His Girlfriend of Six Weeks, Reveals President Kevin Worthen’s True Height in the Process

Who knew Joe Rogan and Kevin Worthen would see eye to eye? Hundreds of civilians in Utah Valley eagerly stared at the sky as a recently returned missionary, Harold Renlund, proposed to his girlfriend on Sunday. Using MSF, or Missionary Supplement Funds, that he gathered from his trainees on his mission, Renlund paid a pilot to spell out the words, “Will you marry me, Dorothy?” … Continue reading Local RM Uses Skywriting to Propose to His Girlfriend of Six Weeks, Reveals President Kevin Worthen’s True Height in the Process

Gov. Cox Beats Up Intruder with a Broom—Turns Out to be Kevin Worthen Dressed as Batman.

It is no secret Governor Cox and his pal, Kevin Worthen, are cosplay buddies.  They hang out every Saturday planning their costumes.  Last Friday, however, Cox was in for an unpleasant surprise.  At his vacation home, Cox stumbled upon an intruder, who he promptly hit with a broom. Screeching like a pencil on a chalkboard, Worthen turned to face Cox and proceeded to flap his … Continue reading Gov. Cox Beats Up Intruder with a Broom—Turns Out to be Kevin Worthen Dressed as Batman.