New Sins You Missed at General Conference
General Conference weekend is a great learning opportunity, but you can’t be expected to catch everything. Luckily, while you were passed out on the couch, we were taking note of every action that no longer aligns with Church standards. Eating Tomatoes We were all expecting this one, but it’s still worth mentioning–tomatoes are officially of the devil. Nothing we can do about it. Using a … Continue reading New Sins You Missed at General Conference
Church Announces New Temples at General Conference
At the conclusion of the October 2024 General Conference, President Russell M. Nelson took to the pulpit and announced eight new temples to be built in coming years. He was met with cheers, hollers, and chants of “NEL-SON, NEL-SON, NEL-SON” from the Conference Center audience. These houses of worship will bring blessings to members all over the world—and multiverse. See the list below. Continue reading Church Announces New Temples at General Conference
‘Dress to Impress’ Features First Ever General Conference Theme
The popular Roblox game announced the new theme during the latter portion of Sunday morning session. Outfits ranged from Sunday best to Sunday rest, including formal attire and loungewear alike. While there were many impressive outfits that contended for the podium, only three were voted into victory. The winner’s circle collectively resembled the current Relief Society Presidency, which many are finding a humorous coincidence. Professional … Continue reading ‘Dress to Impress’ Features First Ever General Conference Theme
Miracle! Cartographers Produce First Known Map of JKB
For decades, it was assumed that no map could be produced of the Jesse Knight Building, but an elite team of local cartographers has just proven otherwise. After spending 13 years within the building’s walls, their work is finally complete. “The biggest discovery is definitely that of the recursive JKB on the third floor,” said team lead Carter Griffin. “It’s a second, identical JKB contained … Continue reading Miracle! Cartographers Produce First Known Map of JKB
Student Blinded By Brigham Square Repents, Changes Name
The installation of a new bright-white concrete surface in the quad area between the ASB, Library, and JKB has been met with hands over foreheads and squinted eyes. With very few trees or tall buildings to provide shade, Brigham Square is dangerously, even blindingly bright. So bright, in fact, that it recently converted a man to Christ. On the road from the HBLL to the … Continue reading Student Blinded By Brigham Square Repents, Changes Name
