It’s been a while since we’ve seen Josh Hutcherson on the big screen. Though it’s too early to say, his role as McKay Smith in this weekend’s box office winner Five Nights at Cosmo’s could be his most lucrative move since Bridge to Terabithia. The film has already accrued over triple its budget of 25 million Cougar Cash in just one night. In the soon-to-be horror … Continue reading ‘Five Nights At Cosmo’s’ Sells Out Opening Night
In a stunning display of religious patriotism, President Dallin H. Oaks of the First Presidency has publicly transformed himself into a bald eagle. The transformation occurred at the peak of the newly-christened “Constitution month,” an attempt by the Utah government to stave off growing “anti-American sentiments” among the young people. “I don’t even know how it happened,” observer Stevia Taylor commented. “Out of nowhere, I … Continue reading Dallin H. Oaks Morphs Into Bald Eagle In Honor of Constitution Month
Yet again, there has been a murder. A body was found in the Museum of Art on Friday, with no immediately obvious cause of death, other than the knife sticking out of his chest. Jahnyt Marriott, an experience design and management major, was discovered lying near the gift shop, staring sightlessly at the ceiling. The timing was poor, as deaths often are–Art After Dark was … Continue reading Murder After Dark: Benoit Blanc Called to Solve Sudden MOA Homicide
History has been made at the University formerly known as BYU. Just one day before his inauguration, President C. Shane Reese has announced that the University’s name will be permanently changed to the simpler “Y.” Reese said the change reflects his desire to “Make the ‘Y’ cooler than it has ever been” and hopes the students will immediately begin using the University’s new name. “It … Continue reading President Reese Officially changes BYU Name to “Y”
BYU’s top rated dance group was absent from the most recent game due to complaints related to their song choice… a clean version of “Plain Jane” by A$AP Ferg. Now, they’ve come to a compromise to right this grievous wrong. Amid first performance backlash, the Cougarettes have agreed to smooth things over by dancing to music only found in the Primary Children’s Songbook. They’ve got … Continue reading In Response to Backlash, Cougarettes Now Only performing to Primary Songs
