It’s finally here! The best day of the BYU school year! A welcome break for hardworking students and faculty. Some find it a little overwhelming planning how to fill an entire 24 hours of extra time, so here are some suggestions from your friends at The Alternate Universe. 1) Do Homework Why not use this extra time to get ahead or maybe catch up on … Continue reading 10 Great Things to Do on BYU’s Spring Day
After legal action resulted in BYU Police losing the ability to make arrests and investigate crimes starting September 1st 2019, BYU students plan on holding an event they’re calling “The Purge” on September 2nd. “We’re just basically going to do what we want. The men will grow beards, the women will wear leggings, and we’ll stay out till 12:30 AM instead of midnight.” said Student … Continue reading BYU Students to Participate in ‘The Purge’ Following the Decertification of BYU Police
Having finally received their official deportation orders, two missionaries detained in Russia over the past week are reportedly ecstatic to return home, and can’t wait to get started selling the movie rights to their story to whatever Christian production company will take them. Kole Brodowski, who, in contrast to his companion, was lucky enough to have his name released to the public, understands that negotiations … Continue reading Detained Russian Missionaries Excited to Come Home, Negotiate Movie Deal
Apartment managers, having sequestered themselves in a cramped, dimly lit, five foot by five foot room for nearly two months, are now cautiously unbolting the trap door. With another term gone, eye witnesses report that the management team is once again prepared to brave resident resentment for the sake of exacting cleaning check fees. “I just assumed they were dead.” John Kirkland, Sophomore, said as … Continue reading Apartment Management Emerges Briefly from Panic Room to Conduct Cleaning Checks
Following a searching 60 minutes on his crush’s Facebook page, Jason thinks he’s finally about ready to talk to her in person – and hopes to score a second date. “We could start with a first date, but I don’t really see the point.” Jason related from behind his computer screen, annoyed that the question even came up, “Why would we do a ‘first date’ … Continue reading After Hour of Facebook Stalking, Jason Feels Comfortable Skipping Straight to Second Date
