The year is 2025, just a year after the Covid-19 pandemic ended. There is, however, a new pandemic because that’s just life. March 13th, 2025: A weird meteor strikes near Provo. March 14th, 2025: Cosmo licks it to see what it tastes like. March 21st, 2025: Cosmo falls ill with mysterious condition. March 22nd, 2025: Cosmo throws up blue foam on … Continue reading Timeline for the Next Pandemic
This week Brigham Young University turned down Federal funding aimed at helping universities deal with additional costs due to COVID-19 testing and safety protocols. This move is not surprising for BYU as the university had previously turned down funding last year. BYU representatives expressed their gratitude for the offer, but instead decided to make use of the food storage held in the WILK basement to … Continue reading BYU Rejects Federal COVID Funding, Relies on Food Storage Instead
Two missionaries serving in the Utah St. George Mission were caught stealing the identities of their elderly neighbors in order to get their hands on the coveted Covid vaccine. Dressed in clothes from their church’s lost and found collection, Elder Young and Elder Brigham attempted to visit their local clinic to receive the vaccine as their neighbors, Mr. and Mrs. Lightman. Their disguises worked well … Continue reading Missionaries Dress Up as the Elderly, Attempt to Get COVID Vaccine, Wanted a Swift Return to Knocking Doors
If you thought that the change to two-hour church was a blessing from the heavens, wait until you hear about the “School Snow Make-up Days” of Church announcements. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Days announced this morning that following the April 2021 session of general conference, all Sunday meetings will be changed to a four hour meeting block. After sacrament meeting, church meetings … Continue reading Church Announces Four-Hour Meeting Block To Make up for Lost time
In an unexpected move, Brigham Young University announced that every weekday will now be a Tuesday and that every weekend will consist of two Sundays. “We realized that having more Tuesdays meant having more of what people really attend BYU for, the University Devotionals.” says BYU President Kevin Worthen “Following that up with back-to-back Sundays was a natural move as well.” With the new expectation … Continue reading BYU Declares Every Weekday to be Tuesday Followed by Two Sundays
