Category: Uncategorized

Featured, Life, Uncategorized

LDS Giving Machines End Contract with BYU Vending Machine Supplier

After numerous complaints that the machines were always empty, the Light the World donation managers look elsewhere to keep their machine shelves stocked. Earthquake-sized waves rocked through the LDS-Christmas-donation-supply-chain-management-regulation community when it was announced that Light the World officials had parted ways with their current supply partner – The BYU Vending Machine Group. They had initially worked together as it was convenient to coordinate with … Continue reading LDS Giving Machines End Contract with BYU Vending Machine Supplier

Mark Grayson
Campus, Featured, Uncategorized

Now’s the Time to Choose Your Winter 2022 Mustache

The amount of time it takes for men to grow facial hair remains a mystery to womankind. But for me, as a woman, it takes about two days. Four if I want it to be visible, which I do not. For the sake of relevance, let’s say it takes about five days. Are you interested in a flashy new mustache for the new semester, but … Continue reading Now’s the Time to Choose Your Winter 2022 Mustache

Renesmee
Uncategorized

Biblically accurate angel costume scars dozens at ward Nativity program         

In preparation for the annual ward Christmas Nativity production, leadership of a local Provo ward decided that Celeste Gabriel would be the perfect choice for the angel given her career as a makeup and effects specialist. However, things played out stranger than any of them could have imagined. There was much wailing and gnashing of teeth. “The appearance of the angel is a favorite moment … Continue reading Biblically accurate angel costume scars dozens at ward Nativity program         

Mark Grayson
Uncategorized

Did Brigham Young Accidentally Sleeping in Start Daylight Savings? The True Story Behind the Origin of the Yearly Time Change

Just like your wives and girlfriends, Brigham Young is always right.  Although most people believe that Daylight Savings can be attributed to energy conservation during World War One or farmers being absolute babies and wanting more sleep, there is a true, lesser-known story that argues the tradition earlier. As ancient legend has it, after a long day of trekking through the nothingness that is it … Continue reading Did Brigham Young Accidentally Sleeping in Start Daylight Savings? The True Story Behind the Origin of the Yearly Time Change

Bobby Zimmeruski
Uncategorized

Alternate Universe Staff Member Fired After Comedy Scandal

Here at the Alternate Universe, we are committed to providing top-shelf comedic content, and we have a zero-tolerance policy for contrary behavior from anyone who represents our brand.  Last night a member of our staff, who will remain unnamed out of respect to their family, performed in a Divine Comedy show. We were not aware that they had any ties to the organization, and we … Continue reading Alternate Universe Staff Member Fired After Comedy Scandal

Albert Camus