In the folklore of Latter-day Saints, there are some figures who are mysterious and yet intimately known. They perform unexpected miracles. Four of their order exist. The Three Nephites are well known to faithful Alternate Universe readers and take many guises. More prominent, and thus more occluded, is John the Beloved–who has now revealed himself. An unassuming, nice Jewish boy who delivers the people of … Continue reading John the Beloved Secretly BYU QB?
With All Hallows Eve on the horizon, Provo residents are narrowing in on their costumes of choice. And while some are playing it safe, others are erring on the scarier side. This year, one resident in particular has decided to go as a character more horrifying than them all—himself. Bryce Epp weighs in at a dense 6’4″ 250 pounds. He swipes by day and lifts … Continue reading Terrifying! VASA Bro Being Himself For Halloween
In a completely unexpected turn of events, the BYU Football team has had an unbelievable season, blowing past predicted scores and winning six games in a row. In related news, a shocking report from Church Headquarters in Salt Lake City revealed this morning that the manic energy from the ROC section is the sole life force sustaining President Russell M. Nelson. “We didn’t think he … Continue reading Energy from BYU ROC Only Thing Sustaining President Nelson
At the conclusion of the October 2024 General Conference, President Russell M. Nelson took to the pulpit and announced eight new temples to be built in coming years. He was met with cheers, hollers, and chants of “NEL-SON, NEL-SON, NEL-SON” from the Conference Center audience. These houses of worship will bring blessings to members all over the world—and multiverse. See the list below. Continue reading Church Announces New Temples at General Conference
The installation of a new bright-white concrete surface in the quad area between the ASB, Library, and JKB has been met with hands over foreheads and squinted eyes. With very few trees or tall buildings to provide shade, Brigham Square is dangerously, even blindingly bright. So bright, in fact, that it recently converted a man to Christ. On the road from the HBLL to the … Continue reading Student Blinded By Brigham Square Repents, Changes Name
