Category: Sports

Campus, Featured, Sports

Living Up to His Name: Cosmo the Cougar Revealed to be Zach Wilson’s Secret Older Lover

After spending his rookie season getting smashed by 300-pound NFL veterans, Zach Wilson decided to smash someone his own size. Former BYU Quarterback and apparent mom lover, Zach Wilson, was the talk of the town yesterday. Instead of enjoying his Sabbath in peace, he was trending on Twitter for a surprising reason. Dax Milne, Wilson’s former roommate and current Eskimo brother, posted a picture on … Continue reading Living Up to His Name: Cosmo the Cougar Revealed to be Zach Wilson’s Secret Older Lover

Bobby Zimmeruski
Campus, Life, Sports

Meryl Streep to perform at Saturday’s men’s basketball halftime show

Five-time Emmy Award and Oscar Nominee Meryl Streep just agreed to perform Saturday night! She will be singing her hit single, I Need a Hero. “I believe there is a hero in all of us, from Shrek to Jesus, and from Tom Hanks to Scooby Doo,” says Streep. “I just wish I had a hero. It is so lonely sometimes, being known as a sophisticated philanthropist, soccer … Continue reading Meryl Streep to perform at Saturday’s men’s basketball halftime show

Renesmee
Featured, Sports

Joe Burrow loses Super Bowl after not paying tithing

After losing the important game of his career, Burrow only can blame one person: himself. The Bengals lost a close, hard-fought game this Sunday. On the sidelines, word got out that Joe Burrow had not paid his tithing that month. The Alternate Universe received an exclusive interview with Burrow because we’re just cool like that. “I can only blame myself at this point,” Joe Burrow … Continue reading Joe Burrow loses Super Bowl after not paying tithing

Bobby Zimmeruski
Featured, Sports

Ministering Rates Mysteriously Increase on Super Bowl Sunday

As Super Bowl Sunday is upon us once again, we can finally enjoy the culmination of years training from athletes who are, and will always be, better than you. But on this year’s Super Bowl Sunday, you can look forward to a visit from people who are not, and will never be, better than you: your ministers. The Church has noticed a strange trend in … Continue reading Ministering Rates Mysteriously Increase on Super Bowl Sunday

Bobby Zimmeruski