Category: Provo

Campus, Featured, Life, Provo

Shocking! Gym Bro Disappointed When Thigh-Revealing Shorts Don’t Attract a Girlfriend.

Chad accepts the hard fact that girls don’t actually want to see him in 5” shorts.  As spring has sprung, the occurrences of men in short shorts have multiplied exponentially. Focused on showing off their gains from their “winter arcs,” gym bros across the Provo area have opted for shorter styles.  However, this new style hasn’t gotten the results that Chad, a local Vasa bro, … Continue reading Shocking! Gym Bro Disappointed When Thigh-Revealing Shorts Don’t Attract a Girlfriend.

Swedish ChefLeave a comment
Featured, Provo

Utah Parents Unlock Best New Baby Name: Tariff Marie Brooks

In a beautiful baby blessing in the Provo 50078th ward this morning, Arjax and Brinzlee Brooks proudly introduced their 9th child to the world with a name that left the congregation both bewildered and inspired: Tariff Marie Brooks. The congregation watched in shock as Brother Brooks held Tariff to his American flag tie and kissed her tiny head. At the conclusion of the blessing, silence … Continue reading Utah Parents Unlock Best New Baby Name: Tariff Marie Brooks

Marceline Abadeer1 Comment
Campus, Featured, Life, Provo

Police Beat: Feb. 28-March 7

BYU: Theft Feb. 25 — A student’s innocence was reported stolen after attending an introductory biology class. Feb. 27 — The cryogenically frozen body of Wilford Woodruff was stolen from the Testing Center. Vandalism March 3 — Lipstick marks were found covering the Chief Massasoit statue. Suspicious Feb. 26 — A food science major was seen entering the Cannon Center. Animal problem March 2 — A report … Continue reading Police Beat: Feb. 28-March 7

Basil Fawlty
Featured, News, Provo

Exposed: Bean Museum Contains No Beans

What was once merely a rumor has now been confirmed true. The Monte L. Bean Life Science Museum contains 0 beans. The whistleblower on the whole operation was sharp-witted chickpea of a freshman Cannellini Castro, from The Great Northern city of Lima, Peru. Northern in continental South American terms, of course. “I walked in and I was all, what’s the big idea with all these … Continue reading Exposed: Bean Museum Contains No Beans

Lisa Simpson
Featured, Life, Provo

Fun Ways to Celebrate Pioneer Day

Celebrate homeland and heritage this July 24th with these top picks for Pioneer Day fun.   Revive Manifest Destiny Grab 60,000 of your closest friends and take a light 1,300 mile stroll across the Great Plains in the name of God and country.    Treat Yourself Cheat day! Indulge by licking up your family’s last handful of plain flour from your palm.  Make sure to … Continue reading Fun Ways to Celebrate Pioneer Day

Lisa Simpson