Former BYU President Kevin J. Worthen is seeking a new form of presidency – that of the United States of America. Before his release on May 1, 2023, Worthen served as the President of BYU for nine years. Though the public was officially made aware of his release on March 21, an undisclosed source close to Worthen reveals “he’s been planning this for a while, … Continue reading Kevin J. Worthen announces presidential campaign
Kevin Worthen, president of BYU, wanted to help in the demolition of the HFAC and rented his own bulldozer. However, because Kevin rarely leaves the ASB, he did not know which building the HFAC is. He drove his bulldozer straight into the side if the WILK. After taking out a few rooms, Kevin posed for some photo ops outside to show off his work. K-dubs … Continue reading Kevin Worthen accidentally bulldozes WILK instead of HFAC
BYU students in the College of Music have rejoiced over the new music building. The horrors of having to play in the decrepit HFAC are now behind them, and the music building will no longer be shared with the art students. It would seem to an outsider that all departmental political strife would have ceased, but for BYU students, this is unfortunately not the case. … Continue reading Confusion Arises Regarding Newly Named KWMB
It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Get ready to judge your smug hipster friends for bragging how they’re in the Top 0.001% of Bon Iver. We get it, MaKayKayleigh, you’re so special. Our excellent investigative reporting has revealed the Spotify Wrapped of the one and only Kevin Worthen! So without further a due, here is his 2022 Spotify Wrapped! Top 5 Artists #5 … Continue reading Here is Kevin Worthen’s Spotify Wrapped 2022
Tensions continue to rise after BYU-Idaho bussed 50 unwanted students to Provo. Without any warning or explanation, President Worthen is now responsible for housing, feeding, and educating these new students. According to Henry J. Eyring, president of BYU-I, sending these students over was a necessity. “We’re getting more and more students every year. We are a tiny little town, and it’s just not feasible that … Continue reading BYU-Idaho Accused of Bussing Unwanted Students to Provo
