Category: News

Featured, Life, News

Summer Brings Huge Spike in Amount of People in Your Life You Weren’t Expecting to See in Shorts

A Utah Valley poll conducted last week revealed an upward trend of figures such as bishops, professors, and bosses embracing their summer bodies. Many have been sighted at ward barbeques, tailgating parties, and enjoying the waterpark with the family. “There are enough hot dogs for seconds guys!” said Bishop Greg Gretsky, who was seen manning the grill at Provo 12346759034857th ward’s annual barbeque. While students … Continue reading Summer Brings Huge Spike in Amount of People in Your Life You Weren’t Expecting to See in Shorts

Lisa Simpson
Campus, News

Student Within Cosmo Suit Dies From Heat Exhaustion While Performing

Confused cheers at Miller Park quickly turned into alarmed screams last Saturday when the beloved Cosmo the Cougar suddenly collapsed during a heated BYU Baseball game. And we don’t mean heated in the sense that the two baseball teams were combative- the BYU players literally handed out copies of the Book of Mormon to the opposing team after the game. We mean in the sense … Continue reading Student Within Cosmo Suit Dies From Heat Exhaustion While Performing

Sue Sylvester
Disney, Featured, Life, News

New Study Abroad Program

The Kennedy Center at BYU announced a new study abroad program. Set for a maximum of 85 students and their families per week, this is projected to be the highest-grossing program yet. “Our vision was to create a program in which students will spend just as much money for a normal study abroad, yet simultaneously gain no cultural experience whatsoever,” says program organizer Sally McQueen. … Continue reading New Study Abroad Program

Renesmee
Featured, News, Uncategorized

Amber Heard’s Lawyers Revealed to Have Graduated from University of Utah Law School

No, this isn’t hearsay, your honor. According to attendance records that began surfacing on the internet late yesterday evening, both of Amber Heard’s lawyers- Ben Rottenborn and Elaine Bredehoft- are graduates of the University of Utah’s S.J. Quinney College of Law. This crucial piece of information may explain a lot about the proceedings of the highly popularized Amber Heard v.s. Johnny Depp court case. While … Continue reading Amber Heard’s Lawyers Revealed to Have Graduated from University of Utah Law School

Lisa Simpson
Campus, Featured, News

Student Finally Finds Parking On Campus After a Grueling 8-Month Long Search

As all current and former BYU students know, parking spots on campus are as hard to come by as a non-thirsty returned missionary. Due to the limited parking spots on campus, some students complain how they have missed classes desperately looking for a place to park. But once you hear this story, you’ll never complain again… “My parents were kind enough to give me my … Continue reading Student Finally Finds Parking On Campus After a Grueling 8-Month Long Search

Bobby Zimmeruski