Category: News

Featured, Life, News

Batman Retires After Learning From Missionaries that He Can See His Parents Again

When Elder John Bennett and Elder Ethan Howe were abducted by the Riddler, they weren’t worried. They had seen The Saratov Approach and knew that only good things happened to kidnapped missionaries. Like the good Mormon boys they were, they kneeled down and prayed for a miracle. The miracle they received wasn’t what they expected. Not an angel of heaven, but a Dark Knight. The … Continue reading Batman Retires After Learning From Missionaries that He Can See His Parents Again

Macho Man Randy Savage
Campus, Featured, News

BYU Proposes ‘Subtle Changes’ to Y Mountain in New Rendering

Have you ever thought Y Mountain looked a bit bland? Like it was missing something? Maybe four gigantic stone carvings of the most influential LDS figures? Well then it seems stupid minds think alike, because BYU has proposed the stone faces of Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, Donny Osmond, and hot Nephi to grace the mountain. Project manager Starling Painthuffer confirmed the proposed plans on November … Continue reading BYU Proposes ‘Subtle Changes’ to Y Mountain in New Rendering

Sue Sylvester
Campus, Featured, Life, News

On This Veterans Day, Many Former APs Are Claiming Veteran Status

Veterans Day is a time for us to reflect on the men and women who have sacrificed everything in the service of our country. This holiday however, many are demanding we remember those who sacrificed in the service of God’s kingdom. Dozens of former APs are claiming veteran status, and demanding recognition for their service on the mission field. Ethan Howe is one such man. … Continue reading On This Veterans Day, Many Former APs Are Claiming Veteran Status

Macho Man Randy Savage
Featured, News, Uncategorized

BYU Honor Code Office Launches “No NCMO November”

As the sun sets on the month of October, the BYU Honor code office has unveiled what they have in store for the month of November. This morning a post on the office’s Instagram announced that they are launching “No NCMO November” in order to encourage students to refrain from committing what some have called Utah’s version of a one-night stand. “NCMO Kills Love” is … Continue reading BYU Honor Code Office Launches “No NCMO November”

Lisa Simpson
Campus, News

MARB Steam Revealed to Be From Underground Sweat Shop

What is that mysterious steam coming from the Marb basement? It’s always there, and countless students hold their breath while passing to prevent whatever it is from entering their airways. Fed up with not knowing, our investigative journalists (including myself) took a look at what is underneath, and the results may shock you. The first thing we saw as we entered the room were aisles … Continue reading MARB Steam Revealed to Be From Underground Sweat Shop

Renesmee