Tabernacle Choir Performs Coachella Day Three

They couldn’t believe it, but they wouldn’t not love it. Who’s “they?” We’re just the news, who’s for us to say? But in this case, the crowd in question was none other than the indie impersonators and intoxicated influencers of the infamous Coachella. And what they couldn’t believe was the ever-impressing ensemble of The Tabernacle Choir performing on the festival’s third day. “And on the … Continue reading Tabernacle Choir Performs Coachella Day Three

Breaking: Worst Person You Know Just Got Engaged

Against all supposed odds, the worst person you have ever met just got engaged to the love of their life. There really is someone for everyone—except maybe someone single, pleasant, and normal like you. In an exclusive interview with The Worst Person You Know, The Alternate Universe was able to get an idea of their future plans. “My insufferable fiance and I are excited to … Continue reading Breaking: Worst Person You Know Just Got Engaged

Golden Plates Found In Melting Utah Snowpack

Weather experts and politicians have been warning Utahns about the nearly 200% snowpack this year. Emergency preparation has already begun for the soon-to-come street floods. However, it turns out that water isn’t the only thing coming out of the melting snow. Thanks to one brave hiker on the Y Mountain, we now know of the location of the Golden Plates. Barry McBussentyre claims he was … Continue reading Golden Plates Found In Melting Utah Snowpack

God announces He prefers to be thanked for “the rain” rather than “the moisture”

With the beehive state and many others facing drought conditions of increasing seriousness, local leaders and general authorities alike have encouraged the members in their stakes to pray for rain. Somehow during this invitation for supplications of precipitation, a large portion of members got the idea that rather than use the word “rain” to describe what they wish to receive, they should instead say “moisture.” … Continue reading God announces He prefers to be thanked for “the rain” rather than “the moisture”

Church Announces New “Mother and Son” Missions to Begin in 2024

Picture this. You give birth. Cool, right? Then you spend the next 18 years of your existence fighting through blood, sweat, and tears to make sure the little fart doesn’t die. Once you get through all of that with the little guy hating your guts, he leaves for 2 years to go preach the gospel in another language. Sounds a like a deal you’d sign … Continue reading Church Announces New “Mother and Son” Missions to Begin in 2024