Category: Life

Featured, Life, Provo

Heartbreaking: Student Left Crestfallen After Being Ghosted on Canvas Discussion Board

Under normal circumstances, Valentine’s Day is an occasion to celebrate the beauty of romance in all its forms. But after a recent and devastating development, normal circumstances are in short supply. It appears that hopeless romantic Bryson Dyson will once again be spending Valentine’s Day alone after being ghosted by the woman of his dreams on a discussion board for their online freshman writing class. … Continue reading Heartbreaking: Student Left Crestfallen After Being Ghosted on Canvas Discussion Board

Don Cheadle
Life

Palentine’s Day Works Out Great Despite Zero Planning

Several weeks ago, some roommates decided to celebrate Palentine’s Day, but they never ended up planning anything. It didn’t matter because they just grabbed some Little Caesars and played some Smash Bros. “It was actually better than we ever intended. I didn’t know McKay was a Pichu main now, so I guess we’re all caught up,” said McKimball Smith. Later they moved onto playing 2K. … Continue reading Palentine’s Day Works Out Great Despite Zero Planning

Cameron Frye
Campus, Life

LSB Chemical Spill Contaminates Duck Pond, Creates Teenage Mutant Ninja Mallards.

A new genre of semi-aquatic Provo residents just dropped! In a shocking turn of events, a freak accident in the LSB caused a cascade of toxic, possibly radioactive ooze down the slopes surrounding the building. These contaminants found their way towards the beloved south campus duck pond causing a complete (and totally rad!) metamorphosis among some of the local fauna.  When questioned about his involvement, … Continue reading LSB Chemical Spill Contaminates Duck Pond, Creates Teenage Mutant Ninja Mallards.

Paul Hollywood
Campus, Life

Crowded MARB Hallways Force Emergency Classroom Birth

Students across BYU campus are calling for action after a recent emergency birth occurred in the worst building on campus. Jennica Nielson, a returned missionary of 10 months, was in her “Intro to Motherhood” class at  Thomas L. Martin Building (more infamously known as the MARB), when right at 9:49, her water suddenly broke. Her gasp of surprise, along with the subsequent contractions, however, were … Continue reading Crowded MARB Hallways Force Emergency Classroom Birth

Dr. Doof
Life, News, Provo

Deseret Book Announces Lonely Ghost Collaboration

Deseret Book has officially announced the release of a spiritually centered Lonely Ghost spring collection. Holy Hipsters everywhere are practically foaming at the mouth. All is lonely in Zion! The Christian indie folk of Provo are absolutely thrilled for the Seagull Book x Lonely Gost spring collection.  “This launch is really going to be great for Love, Share, Invite,” says brand representative and ward mission … Continue reading Deseret Book Announces Lonely Ghost Collaboration

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