Chuck E. Cheese Buys BYU Duck Pond

Move over, Cosmo! There’s a new mascot in town! Chuck E. Cheese just bought the BYU duck bond for $5.8 million. In an effort to “revitalize” BYU’s campus, the company plans to build artificial islands with a miniature city complete with a full-sized Chuck E. Cheese’s building. BYU’s Board of Trustees eagerly approved the BYU duck pond remodel because there is nothing more that they … Continue reading Chuck E. Cheese Buys BYU Duck Pond

Tabernacle Choir Removes Music From Spotify

Last week, rock musician Neil Young removed his solo collection of music from Spotify. This was in response to COVID-19 misinformation being spread by The Joe Rogan Experience, a podcast owned by Spotify. Several other artists have since followed his example but this Alternate Universe correspondent had never heard of any of them and had too much homework to allow time to find out. So … Continue reading Tabernacle Choir Removes Music From Spotify

Student Cured of Clinical Depression After Seeing Funny Minion Meme on Facebook

Minion memes are finally getting the respect they deserve. Steven Carroll was casually scrolling through Facebook one day, as all typical 23-year-old single white males do, when he stumbled upon his mom’s Facebook post. Little did he know, his life would be changed forever. “When I saw it, I almost went into cardiac arrest” Steven Carroll recounted. “You can ask my roommates, they legit thought … Continue reading Student Cured of Clinical Depression After Seeing Funny Minion Meme on Facebook

Student Poll: Are You More of an “Open Shoulder” or “Open Knee” Guy?

Coke or Pepsi? Cats of dogs? Durfing or soaking? The cookie part of the Oreo, or the icing? With respect to certain matters of life, like the few just mentioned, people will either fall into one of two distinct categories, a “this” or “that.” The same goes for physical attributes.  Either way, our preferences are a reflection of ourselves. So, what does the preference on … Continue reading Student Poll: Are You More of an “Open Shoulder” or “Open Knee” Guy?

Top 5 Best Places to Break Up in Provo

Breaking up is hard. Make it a little bit easier by planning to have “the talk” at one of these sensible locations.   5. Costco Food Court This low-key venue is an excellent space to talk about your most vulnerable and guarded feelings. Plus, who could be mad with a chicken bake in their mouth? 4.  The Bus Nothing says “I still care about you, … Continue reading Top 5 Best Places to Break Up in Provo