Category: Life

Life, Provo

BYU Student Prepares for Possible Flooding by Building Ark

With the record amount of snowfall along the Wasatch Front, the possibility for flooding is dramatically higher this spring. Residents and local governments are preparing in multiple ways. One sophomore at BYU is taking a very unique approach. Noel McArkin felt compelled to construct an ark to keep himself safe from harm. “I’ve never seen this much snow during my 22 years (minus two obviously … Continue reading BYU Student Prepares for Possible Flooding by Building Ark

Cameron Frye
Featured, Life, News

Tabernacle Choir Performs Coachella Day Three

They couldn’t believe it, but they wouldn’t not love it. Who’s “they?” We’re just the news, who’s for us to say? But in this case, the crowd in question was none other than the indie impersonators and intoxicated influencers of the infamous Coachella. And what they couldn’t believe was the ever-impressing ensemble of The Tabernacle Choir performing on the festival’s third day. “And on the … Continue reading Tabernacle Choir Performs Coachella Day Three

Sue Sylvester
Featured, Life, News, Uncategorized

Breaking: Worst Person You Know Just Got Engaged

Against all supposed odds, the worst person you have ever met just got engaged to the love of their life. There really is someone for everyone—except maybe someone single, pleasant, and normal like you. In an exclusive interview with The Worst Person You Know, The Alternate Universe was able to get an idea of their future plans. “My insufferable fiance and I are excited to … Continue reading Breaking: Worst Person You Know Just Got Engaged

Lisa Simpson
General Conference, Life

New Sins Announced in General Conference

In this ever-changing world, members often look for stricter guidelines on how to live their life. This conference, the Quorum of the Twelve and the First Presidency delivered. Here are five new sins to avoid in your Christ-centered life. Excessively large jewelry – Earrings must have a diameter below 2 inches and a total surface area below 5 square inches. Necklaces must have a chain … Continue reading New Sins Announced in General Conference

Kayteigh Leigh
Life

Church Announces New Second-Hour Option for Boyfriends Who Go To Their Girlfriend’s Ward

Hey all you freshman with misplaced horniness, listen up. It’s about time we had the talk. When two people like each other very much – they decide to date each other. Inside of just kissing each other at the Duck Pond late at night and ignoring each other throughout the day, two mature people eventually like each other enough to put labels on their relationship. … Continue reading Church Announces New Second-Hour Option for Boyfriends Who Go To Their Girlfriend’s Ward

Bobby Zimmeruski