President Donald Trump signed an executive order Thursday night changing the name of Utah Lake to BYU Lake. According to him, “It’s a change everyone has been wanting. ‘B-Y-U Lake’ just has a much better ring. BYU will reclaim its rightful place as the greatest, most powerful, most respected university on earth inspiring the awe, admiration of the entire world. We are changing the name … Continue reading Donald Trump Renames Utah Lake to “BYU Lake”
The ever-stringent BYU parking authorities have relaxed their policies today, declaring that students and staff alike can, “just park wherever, man.” C. Carr Park, head of the parking division of BYU Security explained further that, “Effective immediately: all parking regulations and restrictions are lifted until further notice. If there’s anywhere with enough space for a car, you can park there.” President Reese commented on the … Continue reading BYU Parking Police Super Chill Now, Announce “Just Park Anywhere”
Take a whiff! That scent of swagger old spice is a strong sign that you are strolling toward east campus, home to the infamous engineering building. Upon entering, one might feel swallowed up in a storm of young men still sporting their 8th-grade style. With deep compassion, BYU faculty reached out to Tan France and asked him to host an instructional seminar to help these needful … Continue reading Tan France Hosts Seminar Titled “Queer Eye for the Engineering Guy”
Normally, Jenson McButton would vote Republican down the whole ticket. However, BYU doesn’t usually play Utah during the week of Election Day. Because the two are playing this week, Jenson can have no red anywhere in his life. “I’m a lifelong conservative, but I hate the University of Utah more than I hate Leftists,” said McButton. “Normally I love to say ‘Choose the Right’ on … Continue reading BYU Conservative Votes Blue to Rub It In Utah’s Face
From the most sensational music group among latter day saint dads and kids with restricted Youtube access, The Piano Guys will be performing all across the globe in what will be known as “The Dispensations Tour.” The international tour will feature elaborate music, costume, and set design inspired by each dispensation of the gospel. “I heard that during the Jaredite Dispensation they’re gonna just start … Continue reading The Piano Guys Announce “Dispensations” Tour
