Category: Featured

Featured, Uncategorized

Dallin H. Oaks Morphs Into Bald Eagle In Honor of Constitution Month

In a stunning display of religious patriotism, President Dallin H. Oaks of the First Presidency has publicly transformed himself into a bald eagle. The transformation occurred at the peak of the newly-christened “Constitution month,” an attempt by the Utah government to stave off growing “anti-American sentiments” among the young people. “I don’t even know how it happened,” observer Stevia Taylor commented. “Out of nowhere, I … Continue reading Dallin H. Oaks Morphs Into Bald Eagle In Honor of Constitution Month

Dr. Doof
BYU Voices, Campus, Featured, Life, Provo

BYU Freshman Experiencing Mental Breakdown Over 2 Quizzes and Laundry

As BYU fall semester comes into full swing, course loads are undoubtedly becoming heavier. While some seasoned students have a system to deal with the pressure, other are struggling to navigate this stress for the first time. McKeigh Johnson, a recent Lone Peak graduate, knew college was going to be hard. He just didn’t know it was going to be this hard. His current academic … Continue reading BYU Freshman Experiencing Mental Breakdown Over 2 Quizzes and Laundry

Lisa Simpson
Featured, Uncategorized

Murder After Dark: Benoit Blanc Called to Solve Sudden MOA Homicide

Yet again, there has been a murder. A body was found in the Museum of Art on Friday, with no immediately obvious cause of death, other than the knife sticking out of his chest. Jahnyt Marriott, an experience design and management major, was discovered lying near the gift shop, staring sightlessly at the ceiling. The timing was poor, as deaths often are–Art After Dark was … Continue reading Murder After Dark: Benoit Blanc Called to Solve Sudden MOA Homicide

Paul Atreides
Featured, Life, missionary, Provo, Sports

Chase Roberts To Replace Angel Moroni on Provo Temple

Following the BYU football team’s nail biter victory against Arkansas, the First Presidency put out a statement to the press. “Considering his angelic athleticism and heroic one-handed catch on Saturday, it has been determined that a statue of Chase Roberts will replace the Angel Moroni on the remodeled Provo Temple.” Noted football fan Dallin H. Oaks further commented: “We were promised that we would see … Continue reading Chase Roberts To Replace Angel Moroni on Provo Temple

Paul Atreides1 Comment
Featured, Uncategorized

President Reese Officially changes BYU Name to “Y”

History has been made at the University formerly known as BYU. Just one day before his inauguration, President C. Shane Reese has announced that the University’s name will be permanently changed to the simpler “Y.” Reese said the change reflects his desire to “Make the ‘Y’ cooler than it has ever been” and hopes the students will immediately begin using the University’s new name. “It … Continue reading President Reese Officially changes BYU Name to “Y”

Dr. Doof