Category: Campus

Campus

Ghost of MLK Thanks BYU for Ending Racism

Early this morning, the administration of BYU received an angelic message from on high. The benevolent Ghost of Martin Luther King Jr. proclaimed that “Brigham Young University has done more to combat racism than any other institution on the planet.” MLK’s ghost cited many examples of students from Utah finally encountering their first person of color. “Coming to BYU taught me that people of color … Continue reading Ghost of MLK Thanks BYU for Ending Racism

Cameron FryeLeave a comment
Campus, Life

BYU Parking Police Super Chill Now, Announce “Just Park Anywhere”

The ever-stringent BYU parking authorities have relaxed their policies today, declaring that students and staff alike can, “just park wherever, man.” C. Carr Park, head of the parking division of BYU Security explained further that, “Effective immediately: all parking regulations and restrictions are lifted until further notice. If there’s anywhere with enough space for a car, you can park there.” President Reese commented on the … Continue reading BYU Parking Police Super Chill Now, Announce “Just Park Anywhere”

Paul HollywoodLeave a comment
Campus, Featured, Spotlight

Spotlight on the Bell Tower

From the first day any of us set foot on campus and saw the beautiful Centennial Carillon Tower, we’ve all been wondering the exact same thing: how much bell could a bell tower tow if a bell tower could tow bell? Well, unfortunately, these facts will not address that question in the slightest. 1. The bell tower was reportedly built. 2. It was originally called … Continue reading Spotlight on the Bell Tower

Don CheadleLeave a comment
Campus, Life

Tan France Hosts Seminar Titled “Queer Eye for the Engineering Guy”

Take a whiff! That scent of swagger old spice is a strong sign that you are strolling toward east campus, home to the infamous engineering building. Upon entering, one might feel swallowed up in a storm of young men still sporting their 8th-grade style. With deep compassion, BYU faculty reached out to Tan France and asked him to host an instructional seminar to help these needful … Continue reading Tan France Hosts Seminar Titled “Queer Eye for the Engineering Guy”

Kim PossibleLeave a comment
Campus, Featured

Brigham’s Wagon Utterly Consumed By Locusts

In a catastrophic turn of events, the famed Brigham’s Wagon food truck has reportedly been devoured by a horde of belligerent locusts. Witnesses watched in horror as the voracious insects—believed to number no less than 10 million—descended upon the truck, irresistibly drawn by the scent of Wagon Tots and Handcart Tacos. BYU freshman Ryan Smith recounted: “It was like they knew exactly what they were … Continue reading Brigham’s Wagon Utterly Consumed By Locusts

Marceline AbadeerLeave a comment