Category: 5 Things to Know

5 Things to Know, Featured

Erm, What the Brighma!? Five Things You’ve Gyatt to Know for Freshman Year at BYU

Campus life can seem scary at first, but with these words of rizzdom, you’ll have no problem gaining all the aura you need and more. Go forth to serve. You’re not in Ohio anymore. If you wanna be the Young Sigma, you have to be constantly mogging everyone else in the room. Any day could be the day that Livvy Dunne shows up to campus, … Continue reading Erm, What the Brighma!? Five Things You’ve Gyatt to Know for Freshman Year at BYU

Don Cheadle
5 Things to Know

5 Tips For Encountering FSY Kids

As temperatures rise, so do sightings of the American FSY Kid (Youthus latterdayensis). Within the last week, Provo has been dubbed a Red Zone for critical FSY kid encounters. Here at the Alternate Universe, we take public safety very seriously, and would invite you to review the following tips for coming face to face with this breed of creature.    Stand Your Ground An FSY … Continue reading 5 Tips For Encountering FSY Kids

Marceline Abadeer
5 Things to Know, Campus

5 Things to Know About BYUSA

It’s our job to know things about BYU, and that we do. But how much do you know? There’s no better place to start than with everyone’s favorite campus organization: BYUSA.   1. It’s There! A common BYUSA misconception is that it doesn’t exist. But after several years of thorough research and one fatal undercover operation, we’ve encountered proof to support the contrary. In fact, … Continue reading 5 Things to Know About BYUSA

Don Cheadle
5 Things to Know, Campus, Provo

5 Gangs to Watch out for in Provo

Far from the beacon of safety it was once known as, Provo, Utah has recently been ranked #4 in the nation for gang violence. Taking a moment to familiarize yourself with these groups may help you to protect yourself and your family. Tunnel Singers This gang’s stronghold is located under the tunnel in front of the Marriot Center. They are most hostile when shaded in … Continue reading 5 Gangs to Watch out for in Provo

Lisa Simpson
5 Things to Know, News

Five Things To Know About the Midterm Elections

Once again, we have reached the season of midterm elections. Utah has the chance to decide who will represent them in the Senate and House of Representatives. There are many issues on the table. Inflation, crime, the environment, education, and civil rights are all on the table. Is our democracy and civilization on the brink of destruction? Yes. Here’s five things you need to know. … Continue reading Five Things To Know About the Midterm Elections

Macho Man Randy Savage