Author: Warren Dusenberry

Warren is a skilled taxidermist and has over 10 years of experience designing farmhouse lofts. He got his start in writing in the early 1950s, and never quite figured it out. Catch him in his spare time going through other people's mail and fertilizing his expansive vegetable garden.
Campus

BYU Store Mannequin Announces Campaign for BYUSA Presidency

BYU Store Mannequin “Manny” announced his bid for the highly esteemed BYUSA president position earlier this morning in a surprise campus press conference. The 7 students following this election closely are already calling Manny the “dark-horse candidate” of the race on account of his super fun personality and carefully selected campaign phrases. “Up to this point I was really feeling inspired by the words ’embrace … Continue reading BYU Store Mannequin Announces Campaign for BYUSA Presidency

Warren Dusenberry
News

Boy Scouts Organize Massive Merit Badge Patch ‘Blow Out Sale’ to Avoid Bankruptcy

Hoping to turn around dire financial conditions in the organization, the Boy Scouts of America have announced a huge sale on all uniform patches. The awards, traditionally given to youth in recognition of their scouting achievements, are now available to all, and for 75% off. “Has it been strange selling discounted eagle scout awards to random people? Yes. But, a scout is thrifty.” says Boy … Continue reading Boy Scouts Organize Massive Merit Badge Patch ‘Blow Out Sale’ to Avoid Bankruptcy

Warren Dusenberry
BYU Voices

BYU Voices: Lack of Housing Forces Married Students to Rent Former Motel Rooms

Some married students who have been unable to find suitable housing now have no other option but to rent a room at the former Super 8 motel in Provo. Couples living in the cramped living arrangement have to wash their dishes in a tub, sign monthly contracts to get around zoning laws, and pay their landlord Mr. Tashjian via Venmo. What do you think? BYU … Continue reading BYU Voices: Lack of Housing Forces Married Students to Rent Former Motel Rooms

Warren Dusenberry
Life

Local Bro Successfully Avoids Saying ‘I Love You’ to Girlfriend Again on Couple’s 3rd Valentine’s Day Together

Provo resident Noah Legiance is reportedly having a fantastic Valentine’s Day with longtime girlfriend Peggy Gardner. Sources close to Noah confirm that he has already dodged several opportunities to finally say “I love you” and has no plans to be romantic at all throughout the holiday. “Yeah, sure, I like the flowers and stuff from Peggy.” Noah said, doing bicept curls while speaking to our … Continue reading Local Bro Successfully Avoids Saying ‘I Love You’ to Girlfriend Again on Couple’s 3rd Valentine’s Day Together

Warren Dusenberry