Author: Warren Dusenberry

Warren is a skilled taxidermist and has over 10 years of experience designing farmhouse lofts. He got his start in writing in the early 1950s, and never quite figured it out. Catch him in his spare time going through other people's mail and fertilizing his expansive vegetable garden.
Campus

EFY Kid Perfects List of Loud Noises He Can’t Wait to Make on BYU Campus

Having only just put the final touches on a list of loud, annoying, and likely dangerous noises curated especially for the occasion, future EFY attendee Jason Bummer is looking forward to his upcoming week on BYU campus. This extensive preparation, Mr. Bummer hopes, will horrify nearby students on their way to classes and win the desired approval from his EFY peers and love-interests. “WAAAAAAAAA-BAM!” Jason … Continue reading EFY Kid Perfects List of Loud Noises He Can’t Wait to Make on BYU Campus

Warren Dusenberry
Campus, Life

President Worthen Realizes He Made Too Much Guac for Spring Term Kickoff Party

Upon arriving at the annual campus-wide Spring term kickoff party on Friday, university president Kevin J. Worthen quickly realized that he had brought way too much of his signature homemade guacamole. “I always forget to adjust my recipe from when I make a batch at the start of Fall.” Worthen chuckled to himself while handing out gallon jugs of guac to the 11 students attending, … Continue reading President Worthen Realizes He Made Too Much Guac for Spring Term Kickoff Party

Warren Dusenberry
Campus, General Conference, Life, News

Heartbroken Conference Rumor Believers Abandon Tent City Outside Orem Starbucks

Following another inspirational weekend of General Conference, disappointed rumor believers are now packing up the small tent city they set up out front of a rundown Orem Starbucks. “We’re honestly still shook that nothing changed.” related coffee-hungry Craig Zimmerman, tossing a sleeping bag into the back of the family mini van as rain poured down, “My friend’s credible sources must be having serious trust issues … Continue reading Heartbroken Conference Rumor Believers Abandon Tent City Outside Orem Starbucks

Warren Dusenberry
News

Mueller Report Finds Evidence of Collusion Between President Nelson and God

Following 2 years of intense investigation into Russel M Nelson’s administration, special counsel Robert Mueller has finally released his findings on the prophet’s purported collusion with God. The report outlines evidence dating back to the President’s childhood of a suspiciously close relationship with his Maker, and concludes that Heavenly Father very much propelled the heart surgeon into his current position as leader of the Church … Continue reading Mueller Report Finds Evidence of Collusion Between President Nelson and God

Warren Dusenberry