Local Maceys Refuses to Stop Playing ‘All By Myself’ Over the Loudspeaker

Hearts were bursting today as the Provo Maceys blasted Eric Carmen’s hit song ‘All By Myself’ for hours on repeat. Shoppers were serenaded by Carmen’s dulcet tones from 2 in the afternoon until closing, late that evening. Jacob Reedy, a Macey’s employee who was working during the musical escapade, told reporters that he believed that “whoever was playing the song on repeat probably had a … Continue reading Local Maceys Refuses to Stop Playing ‘All By Myself’ Over the Loudspeaker

Local Bishop Utilizes Mug Shots to Better Transfer New YSA Members Records

This last Sunday in the Provo one thousand and fifth ward, new members were given a slate to write their name and height on, as the Bishop of their ward, George Jorge, took mug shots in front of a marked height board. When questioned about this avant-garde method of cataloging new move-ins, Bishop Jorge informed reporters that forming a mug shot line was the most … Continue reading Local Bishop Utilizes Mug Shots to Better Transfer New YSA Members Records