Author: Paul Hollywood

Campus, Life

BYU Parking Police Super Chill Now, Announce “Just Park Anywhere”

The ever-stringent BYU parking authorities have relaxed their policies today, declaring that students and staff alike can, “just park wherever, man.” C. Carr Park, head of the parking division of BYU Security explained further that, “Effective immediately: all parking regulations and restrictions are lifted until further notice. If there’s anywhere with enough space for a car, you can park there.” President Reese commented on the … Continue reading BYU Parking Police Super Chill Now, Announce “Just Park Anywhere”

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Campus, Life

The Haunting History of the Cougareat

If you’ve ever felt uneasy in the Cougareat food court, it might be from more than just a bad chalupa or an extra spicy Chick-fil-a sandwich.  The Cougareat is one of BYU’s iconic landmarks and has a storied and far reaching history, predating the University itself.  Thousands of years ago, hunter-gatherers often stopped on this spot to make camp and swap stories. The great warrior … Continue reading The Haunting History of the Cougareat

Paul Hollywood
Featured, Uncategorized

Student Blinded By Brigham Square Repents, Changes Name

The installation of a new bright-white concrete surface in the quad area between the ASB, Library, and JKB has been met with hands over foreheads and squinted eyes. With very few trees or tall buildings to provide shade, Brigham Square is dangerously, even blindingly bright. So bright, in fact, that it recently converted a man to Christ. On the road from the HBLL to the … Continue reading Student Blinded By Brigham Square Repents, Changes Name

Paul Hollywood
Life

Student Devours Starving Student Card, Still Starves

In a shocking turn of events this week, a BYU student tragically perished after spending the last money he had on a starving student card that was sold to him in the BYU Bookstore. Sources report that the student, Gerry Hun, 20, of Orem, was on his way to buy some food to satiate his hunger when he was set upon by aggressive card salesmen. … Continue reading Student Devours Starving Student Card, Still Starves

Paul Hollywood
Life

Provo Voices: How Students Are Getting Through Homeless Week

Provo residents once more find themselves at a disadvantaged position as another homeless week has come upon us. The annual early Christmas present to landlords descends like a pall over this quaint and demure town. As part of homeless week, many apartment complexes force out their tenants for a week, careless to the potential upheaval and suffering this decision could cause the fair residents of … Continue reading Provo Voices: How Students Are Getting Through Homeless Week

Paul Hollywood