As the new year ushers in significant changes—a new president, the beginning of Gen-Beta, and, for you BYU cougs, the onset of a quarter-life crisis—it’s hard for President Russell M. Nelson to say all of these shifts are for the better. The 100-year-old leader has specifically pointed to the new TikTok ban as a major setback for his year. “I had at least 200 drafts … Continue reading President Nelson “Truly Saddened” By TikTok Ban
In a catastrophic turn of events, the famed Brigham’s Wagon food truck has reportedly been devoured by a horde of belligerent locusts. Witnesses watched in horror as the voracious insects—believed to number no less than 10 million—descended upon the truck, irresistibly drawn by the scent of Wagon Tots and Handcart Tacos. BYU freshman Ryan Smith recounted: “It was like they knew exactly what they were … Continue reading Brigham’s Wagon Utterly Consumed By Locusts
It is once again time for the beloved Giving Machines to start popping up for the holiday season. This initiative from the LDS Church is an admirable effort to support humanitarianism and kindness. However, recent reports are revealing that this push for charity has left some demographics feeling alienated; particularly the Utah County upper class. In order to bridge this gap, Brileigheigh Lee, local trust … Continue reading New Giving Machines + Offer Donations to the Wealthy
From the most sensational music group among latter day saint dads and kids with restricted Youtube access, The Piano Guys will be performing all across the globe in what will be known as “The Dispensations Tour.” The international tour will feature elaborate music, costume, and set design inspired by each dispensation of the gospel. “I heard that during the Jaredite Dispensation they’re gonna just start … Continue reading The Piano Guys Announce “Dispensations” Tour
As temperatures rise, so do sightings of the American FSY Kid (Youthus latterdayensis). Within the last week, Provo has been dubbed a Red Zone for critical FSY kid encounters. Here at the Alternate Universe, we take public safety very seriously, and would invite you to review the following tips for coming face to face with this breed of creature. Stand Your Ground An FSY … Continue reading 5 Tips For Encountering FSY Kids
