Author: Liz Lemon

Liz Lemon spends her days selling seashells by the seashore and her nights playing bass for the prestigious Fleetwood Mac cover band, Fleetwood Mac & Cheese. She believes news writing to be one of the many menial tasks necessary for the well being of the human race. She currently resides in Compton, CA with several of her pet rocks.
Campus

Liberty Square Resident Home Alone After Roommates Leave For Thanksgiving, Creates Series of Charming Death Traps in Case of Potential Intruders

After UVU student Kevin McParody had the apartment to himself, he did what any young adult would do. McParody watched R Rated movies in the living room, where he was free of judgement from his roommates, and ate all the ice cream in the house, even that which he did not purchase. As the week went by, McParody caught wind of rumors of a pair … Continue reading Liberty Square Resident Home Alone After Roommates Leave For Thanksgiving, Creates Series of Charming Death Traps in Case of Potential Intruders

Liz Lemon
News

Salt Lake City Police Confused About Influx Of Cougar Sightings

The Salt Lake City Police Department reported a major influx of calls in relation to cougar sightings on November 11th. The Park City police also reported similar numbers. “All of the calls wanted us to check the hottest bars, parties, and botox clinics. Our officers really aren’t sure what to do when we get there,” said Animal Control Officer Chuck Haws. After thorough investigation, it … Continue reading Salt Lake City Police Confused About Influx Of Cougar Sightings

Liz Lemon
Campus

City of Provo “Not Hot”, Says Paris Hilton

After leading a protest last week in Provo last week, celebrity and heiress Paris Hilton had some choice words to offer the city of Provo. As a teenager, Hilton spent time in Provo at the Provo Canyon School, where she was severely mistreated. She now returns to lead a protest to shutdown the school and their various malpractices. Hilton also noted that the City of … Continue reading City of Provo “Not Hot”, Says Paris Hilton

Liz Lemon
General Conference, News

President Nelson Can’t See His Friends Because Of You

At the conclusion of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints’ semi-annual General Conference, many of the general authorities departed with sadness in their hearts, knowing that this would be the last time they would see each other in person for the next six months. The words of “God Be with You Till We Meet Again” rang truer for President Nelson than anyone … Continue reading President Nelson Can’t See His Friends Because Of You

Liz Lemon