Enjoy this fun Christmas carol this season, sponsored by Provo’s favorite dating app, Mutual! On the twelfth date of Christmas, Mutual gave to me: Twelve temple square dates, Eleven awkward side hugs, Ten “gospel study” sessions, Nine returned missionaries, Eight eight cow wives, Seven summer sales bros, Six accidental dates with your not so distant cousins, Five rings before spring, Four duck pond dates, … Continue reading Twelve Days of Mutual (Lyrics)
Last night, a reporter for the Alternate Universe was engaging in a late-night wander of campus, pondering finals and considering an existential crisis when they saw something cross the sky. Was it a bird, a plane? Had Cosmo learned to fly? No, none of the above. After a thorough investigation, the object was confirmed to be none other than Santa’s sleigh. As the sleigh passed … Continue reading Leaked: Santa’s Christmas List
Since Thanksgiving is now over, it is time to move into full out Christmas mode. The holiday season is a time for compassion and love. Show all of your Instagram followers how much love and compassion you have this year by making sure you are as politically correct as possible. Sorry white Christmas, this year it’s time for a woke Christmas. Here are five sure-fire … Continue reading Five Ways to Have a Woke Holiday Season
Thanksgiving is a favorite holiday among BYU students. A break from school, seeing family, and lots of food that you probably didn’t have to pay for are all upsides to the holiday. Another fun event associated with the holiday that is gaining popularity is holding a Friendsgiving the week before Thanksgiving. A group of friends will hold a Thanksgiving dinner together before everyone goes off … Continue reading Quorum of the Twelve Holds Friendsgiving: Results Mixed
