Author: Dr. Doof

Campus

“Knights of the Y” Conduct Successful Campus Takeover

The BYUSA Elections may have been last week, but now, there’s no doubt who’s in charge. The Knights of the Y, a campus organization known for its Tuesday night Live Action Roleplaying (or LARPing) began their takeover Monday evening after classes. According to eyewitnesses, the surprisingly large coalition of students, wielding foam swords, shields, and spears, marched from the Wilkinson Student Center towards the Abraham … Continue reading “Knights of the Y” Conduct Successful Campus Takeover

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Campus, Life

Crowded MARB Hallways Force Emergency Classroom Birth

Students across BYU campus are calling for action after a recent emergency birth occurred in the worst building on campus. Jennica Nielson, a returned missionary of 10 months, was in her “Intro to Motherhood” class at  Thomas L. Martin Building (more infamously known as the MARB), when right at 9:49, her water suddenly broke. Her gasp of surprise, along with the subsequent contractions, however, were … Continue reading Crowded MARB Hallways Force Emergency Classroom Birth

Dr. Doof
Uncategorized

Dumbledore Joins BYU as Adjunct Professor

The Magic of the Y just became a little more real. President C. Shane Reese announced yesterday that the famous Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, previously thought dead, has accepted a position as Adjunct Professor at Brigham Young University. Citing “the growing darkness in the world” as his motive, Dumbledore will began his teaching today instead of waiting for the Winter 2024 semester. He will … Continue reading Dumbledore Joins BYU as Adjunct Professor

Dr. Doof
Life

Lonely Student Buys “Touching Allowed” Haunted House Ticket Just to Feel Something

Contrary to popular belief, there is such thing as taking the Halloween Spirit too far. Attendants and employees of Fear Factory, Utah’s top haunted house destination, were confused and even scared this past Wednesday, when a BYU Student named Zack Conway reportedly tried to take advantage of the “Touching Allowed” ticket. Conway, a returned missionary majoring in Computer Science, was finally kicked out of the … Continue reading Lonely Student Buys “Touching Allowed” Haunted House Ticket Just to Feel Something

Dr. Doof
Campus, Life

Cosmo Cougar Facing Backlash After Nude Homecoming Scandal

Nobody knew that cougars could have six packs, and nobody wanted to know. Over the weekend, #CosmoCanceled became the number one trending hashtag on social media platforms due to the BYU mascot’s recent homecoming performance. The cougar surprised all present when, without (official) authorization by BYU, he tore his shirt off and began to perform a traditional Hawaiian fire dance.  Observers were unwillingly exposed to … Continue reading Cosmo Cougar Facing Backlash After Nude Homecoming Scandal

Dr. Doof