Author: Donald Cherry

News

Quarantined Missionary Finally Memorizes the Entire Old Testament

After four long months of effort, Sister Ramona Jenkins has finally memorized the Old Testament of her KJV Bible. Missionaries have been forced to spend the majority of their time in their apartments since March and many have used the extra time to do family history work or call members and investigators. Sister Jenkins decided to use the time to commit the entirety of the … Continue reading Quarantined Missionary Finally Memorizes the Entire Old Testament

Donald Cherry
News

ICE Doubles Down, Announces All College Students to be Deported Due to Online Classes

On July 6th, a new ICE policy came to light that would require all international college students enrolled in exclusively online courses to leave the United States. Today, ICE doubled down and expanded their policy to include all college students, regardless of nationality. “We figured, hey why do all these no-good freeloading college wimps need to be here? They’re doing all their classes online anyways, … Continue reading ICE Doubles Down, Announces All College Students to be Deported Due to Online Classes

Donald Cherry
News

AR-15 Unexpectedly Wins Utah Governor Republican Primary

According to latest reporting it appears that an AR-15 has won the Republican nomination for Governor of Utah. There is no historical precedent for inanimate objects running for governor, but that didn’t stop voters from choosing the Armalite firearm in overwhelming numbers. Election officials are as surprised as anyone at this development. “It’s never really happened this way before, but we’re very sure that we’ve … Continue reading AR-15 Unexpectedly Wins Utah Governor Republican Primary

Donald Cherry
Life

Worthens to Deliver Cookies to Every BYU Student Around the Country

Seeking to cheer up the BYU student body, Kevin and Peggy Worthen are spending the rest of their summer on a quest to deliver cookies to every BYU student in the country.  According to sources, the Worthens recently acquired a Winnebago and over 3,000 pounds of chocolate chips. “We can’t fix everything for all these kids, but we think it would be nice to check … Continue reading Worthens to Deliver Cookies to Every BYU Student Around the Country

Donald Cherry