After months of rumors, sources at Brigham Young University have confided in The Alternate Universe that everything is okay. Despite how things may seem, it looks like things are actually going pretty well at BYU. With summer turning into fall, temperatures have dropped to a comfortable range for all students, whether they happen to be from Arizona or Alaska. Add that to the wonderful fall … Continue reading Breaking News: Everything’s Actually Okay
In preparation for Saturday’s game against the University of South Florida, BYU has enlisted the help of noted Florida Man researcher Dr. Phoebe Watts. With only one player on the roster from the state of Florida, the Cougars looked to Dr. Watts to help them be mentally ready for the challenges they could face. “It’s natural for people with little experience living around Florida Men … Continue reading BYU Hires Florida Man Expert to Prep for USF Game
BYU’s shuttle system provides an appreciated service for many students in Provo, allowing them to get to and from home quickly even if they don’t live close to campus. For some students, however, the benefit is more than just practical. “It just brings me back to Warsaw in a way I never thought anything could,” says recently returned missionary Robert Banks. “After leaving Poland three … Continue reading RMs Use Campus Shuttle To Recapture Mission Magic
As the first day of Fall came and went, a familiar but unwelcome stench has popped up again on BYU campus. “It happens every year,” says famed BYU arborist Lance McPhee, “but I guess that doesn’t change the fact that it’s just really hard to walk by parts of campus without gagging.” This has been a running issue at BYU for as long as the … Continue reading Report: Trees on Campus Smell Bad Again
In a stunning development in the scandal some are calling “at least fifty times more important than Watergate”, BYU President Kevin Worthen raided offices used by The Daily Universe early Wednesday morning. At around 3:15 AM, President Worthen conducted the first of what promises to be many raids seeking evidence to corroborate reports of exploitation of unpaid student labor. According to eyewitnesses, he was accompanied … Continue reading BREAKING: President Worthen Raids Daily Universe Offices
