Author: Don Cheadle

Campus, Featured, Life, News

Testing Center Vending Machines Replace String Cheese with Adderall

With recent test scores trending downward and BYU’s academic image on the line, administrators decided to see whether it would be beneficial for test-takers to swap three bites of cheese for a clean 20mg of actual amphetamines. “This will be great because I’ve always felt like I have ADHD,” said student Nero T. Pickle, who exhibits exactly 0 symptoms of ADHD. “My friends can’t take … Continue reading Testing Center Vending Machines Replace String Cheese with Adderall

Don CheadleLeave a comment
Featured, News

Is the New Utah Flag Woke?

Vexillologists and incels alike have argued that the recently implemented redesign of our state flag is far more progressive and inclusive than Brigham Young ever intended for Utah to be. And after careful examination, we’ve discovered that they are right to be outraged. Let’s start with the obvious one. The woke mob is obsessed with including people, and in this case, they just had to … Continue reading Is the New Utah Flag Woke?

Don Cheadle
Campus, Featured, Spotlight

Spotlight on the Bell Tower

From the first day any of us set foot on campus and saw the beautiful Centennial Carillon Tower, we’ve all been wondering the exact same thing: how much bell could a bell tower tow if a bell tower could tow bell? Well, unfortunately, these facts will not address that question in the slightest. 1. The bell tower was reportedly built. 2. It was originally called … Continue reading Spotlight on the Bell Tower

Don Cheadle
Featured

Best Things to Read on Reading Day

Another semester gone means another campus-wide celebration in the form of Reading Day. But what exactly is there to read? We’re glad you asked. “The Cat in the Hat” by Dr. Seuss For anyone new to this whole “reading” thing, Dr. Seuss’s The Cat in the Hat is a great way to get started. While challenging at times, the intricate story and masterful character development … Continue reading Best Things to Read on Reading Day

Don Cheadle
Campus, Featured

Best Restaurants on Campus

Despite what you may have heard, the Cougareat Chick-fil-a is not the only restaurant on campus. And according to our highly experienced food critic, it doesn’t even compare to these ones. Cougareat Raising Cane’s Just because it’s tucked into the corner doesn’t mean it isn’t there, but many people seem to forget about the Cougareat Cane’s entirely. If you can’t find it, ask a Wendy’s … Continue reading Best Restaurants on Campus

Don Cheadle