As thousands of students prepare for their ‘hot girl summer’ and commence on countless ‘hot girl walks’, you need to be prepared for a few months of constant temptation. If you follow these five steps exactly, we can guarantee that you will remain chaste and avoid the temptation of sin. 1. Talk to your bishop Your bishop is a fantastic resource for advice on keeping … Continue reading Top 5 Ways to Keep the Law of Chastity This Summer
If you’re single and looking for a smoking hot babe on campus, you might have to up your Zoom flirting skills instead. Kevin Worthen, BYU’s President and Papa, recently announced that BYU will be transitioning back to full-time online in response to the rising gas prices. According to Worthen, there will be no in-person classes until it is “financially” safe to return to campus. “We … Continue reading BYU Reverts Back to Online Classes to Fight Rising Gas Prices
Everybody’s 7th favorite building on campus just got a new makeover. Heavily influenced by the constant complaints and confusion centered around wayward ramps, the Jesse Knight Building has recently been converted into a state-of-the-art mini golf course. ”I was just about to finish my engineering degree until I saw this change,” uninspired Lucas Byers told the Alternate Universe. “I was inspired to change my major … Continue reading ‘Confusing’ JKB Converted Into Mini-Golf Course
Have you ever been directly responsible for the demise of another person? Most people would confidently think to themselves, “Of course not! I’m a good person”. But if you just thought this and you attend the prestigious Brigham Young University, you would be a big fat liar. And yes, I’m talking to you. Sigmunda Freud was a bright, young Psychology student with strong aspirations of … Continue reading Student Fails All Class After No One Takes Her Surveys
The Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults with President Nelson was a great success. Millions of young adults around the world were able to listen to the Prophet explain the eternal importance of our decisions. Even better, the members who couldn’t be bothered to arrive eight hours early to secure a seat at the event were rightfully turned away. As thousands of unworthy members arrived to … Continue reading President Nelson’s Spokesperson, Travis Scott, Issues an Apology For “Overcrowded” Young Adult Devotional
