Author: Bobby Zimmeruski

Campus, Featured

Lost 116 Pages Found at President Worthen’s Mar-a-Utah-Lake Residence

President Kevithen J. Worthen has been on the top of the FBI most wanted list for some time now. Reports tell the Alternate Universe that President Worthen is so desired by the FBI for his “swag” and “pizzazz”. Recently, the FBI has been looking into President Worthen after receiving a tip that his presidency might have been attained wrongly. “There has never been a man … Continue reading Lost 116 Pages Found at President Worthen’s Mar-a-Utah-Lake Residence

Bobby Zimmeruski
Campus, Featured

Terminally Ill BYU Professor Arrested for Selling Caffeine to Students

When Dr. Jesse Black was diagnosed with athlete’s foot, he thought it was all over. His wife was pregnant, his son was preparing for college, and most importantly BYU football had a good recruiting class. “I had to find a way to stay alive,” Dr. Black told the Alternate Universe. Dr. Black was told he had a few short months to live due to his … Continue reading Terminally Ill BYU Professor Arrested for Selling Caffeine to Students

Bobby Zimmeruski
Campus, Featured, Provo

Top 5 Places to Take Your BeReal in Provo

The social media app, “BeReal” has taken over the lives of millennials and Gen-Z alike. BeReal’s popularity has soared because it offers a more genuine experience compared to its social media counterparts. For all the boomers out there, BeReal is an app that will send you notification at a random time in the time in the day. Once you receive this notification, you are supposed … Continue reading Top 5 Places to Take Your BeReal in Provo

Bobby Zimmeruski
Campus, Featured, President Worthen, Sports

Russia Declines Trade for Brad Wilcox and a CougarTail for Brittney Griner

When news broke that WNBA Star Brittney Griner had been taken captivate in Russia, hearts across the nation went out to her. But no one has tried to do more than the President of God’s University. President Kevin J. Worthen is an avid lover of the basketball. But somewhat surprisingly, his true love is the WNBA. “I love watching the tall women. They are so … Continue reading Russia Declines Trade for Brad Wilcox and a CougarTail for Brittney Griner

Bobby Zimmeruski
Featured, Provo

Local Landlord Adds Tipping Option During Rent Payments

Imagine you see a really cute girl in your class. So because you’re an absolute gangster you ask her on a date to your local mini-golf course to impress her with your skills. You pull up to the course with your baddie and you pay for the experience of a lifetime. After you finishing paying, the prepubescent teenager working the course turns the iPad around … Continue reading Local Landlord Adds Tipping Option During Rent Payments

Bobby Zimmeruski