Author: Cameron Frye

Campus, Life

Mitt Romney Stepping Down From Senate to Teach American Heritage

After serving a single term in the U.S. Senate, Mitt Romney will not seek reelection and will instead teach American Heritage at BYU. The 76-year-old Senator from Utah is on record saying he is “done will all that political Shiz” and that he would “train the new generation of leaders” in exchange for unlimited chocolate milk. Many factors reportedly went into the decision. Romney would … Continue reading Mitt Romney Stepping Down From Senate to Teach American Heritage

Cameron Frye
Life, News

Guest List Revealed for Russell M. Nelson’s 99th Birthday Party

Over the weekend, President Russell M. Nelson celebrated his 99th birthday. He hosted a birthday party on Saturday night in the Conference Center, and The Alternate Universe obtained a copy of the guest list. Attendees included a number of celebrities and all 347 of Nelson’s descendants. Performances by Bad Bunny, Harry Styles, and Ice Spice got everybody dancing throughout the birthday bash. Russ himself even joined … Continue reading Guest List Revealed for Russell M. Nelson’s 99th Birthday Party

Cameron Frye
Life, Provo

New Tailor Shop ‘Sew King’ Opens on Center Street

After double-majoring in finance and textiles at BYU, McJohn Stevenson has finally fulfilled his dream of opening up a tailor shop. “I studied textiles because I figured I’d have classes with mostly girls and I could find a wife. I was correct about the demographics of my classes, but I’m still single.” “I wanted to call it Sew Bro, but that was already taken,” said … Continue reading New Tailor Shop ‘Sew King’ Opens on Center Street

Cameron Frye
Life

Michael Bay Directs New Mormon Message Starring Mark Wahlberg

In order to reach a new demographic, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints hired Michel Bay to direct a new Mormon Message. They’re not actually called Mormon Messages anymore, but did you actually know that? The inspirational video is set to star Mark Wahlberg, a Catholic, saving a Mormon, played by Kirby Heyborne, from a burning building during a robot invasion while an … Continue reading Michael Bay Directs New Mormon Message Starring Mark Wahlberg

Cameron Frye
Campus, Life, Sports

Cosmo Gets Baptized

Cosmo Cougar officially joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints this weekend. Some readers may be surprised to find out that Cosmo was not already a member, but Cosmo had never indicated either way. If not previously a member, how did Cosmo Cougar become the mascot for the Church-owned school? Cosmo has a brother, Carlo, who joined the Church and attended BYU. Cosmo … Continue reading Cosmo Gets Baptized

Cameron Frye