British Culture Takes Over BYU After Elder Kearon’s Talk

This past Sunday, Elder Patrick Kearon gave his first address as a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. While Elder Kearon has spoken in General Conference before, no one had really paid attention before, so they were shocked by his accent. Members of the Church all over the world were so amazed by the extreme, exotic nature of his accent, that they have … Continue reading British Culture Takes Over BYU After Elder Kearon’s Talk

Beyoncé Performs “16 Covered Wagons” at General Conference

In an effort to compete in the ratings with the Men’s Final Four games, the Church enlisted the help of singer Beyoncé. The “Halo” singer agreed to perform at the Saturday Evening Session of General Conference in order to promote her new album Cowboy Carter. With the help of the Tabernacle Choir at Temple Square and the accompaniment of the organ, Beyoncé performed a new arrangement … Continue reading Beyoncé Performs “16 Covered Wagons” at General Conference

Missionary Realizes New Testament is Actually Fire

Today, Elder Michael McMasterson of the Australia Melbourne Mission admitted that he started reading the New Testament for the first time earlier this week. In an email he wrote: “I never knew this, but the New Testament is actually fire. Jesus and Paul really be saying a lot of dope stuff.” McMastersons’ parents, Donny and Mary, are both elated and disappointed: “He’s 20-years-old and we … Continue reading Missionary Realizes New Testament is Actually Fire